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A Message at Last…

Received from the ex-husband tonight, which he sent to both his wife & to me, and I feel a lot more at peace hearing his voice in all of this. I wrote him a courteous response, but instead of going in to this situation any further I think I will let his e-mail close the door… (read the full letter here…)

His e-mail:

Well, all rightly then. I guess its time for me to finally say something before it gets too far out of hand. Then again it may be too late for that now. I may have waited to long to do this, and it may have cost me more than I care to lose. Call this letter what you want, but read it and think about it. In the end it may not even have nothing to do with what has happened.

Just so you know Christine, I am not spineless, just did what I felt was best to please and keep the woman I love, much like I did for you when I got back from the desert. (ed. note: my comment was that he was being spineless by saying nothing, I was frustrated that I was being hit with hurtful e-mails from her, judging me for things I did 10+ years ago, and yet he was silent.)

Christine, you can take this as your official notice not to write me anymore in matters of friendship. I know you are only trying to be friends, but it has the potential for making my life a living hell. So leave knowing that you have helped me think out some tough times. You can write me via e-mail when the time comes to draw up the annulment papers, at which time you can send what you feel would be important to me. I would think that most things that I have lost over 10 yrs ago would have been forgotten. Old pictures from my youth, needlework of my grandma, paperwork (military related), stuff like that would be nice. No books, gifts, or anything like that. Keep the tapes. Thank You.

I have finally read all the e-mails that have gone back and forth from both of you, and will be going from memory of those e-mails. I may or may not take stuff from them, or even reference back to them. I may just give you my opinions of them and leave it at that. I am not blaming any one for what has conspired these past few days other than myself. It is my fault that I am the type of person only give what I feel is important information, not necessary what is the whole truth, but still the truth in my opinion. Some would say that is lying.

I will say that one thing is true, I sure do bring some interesting woman into my life. Man you two got pretty vicious during those e-mails. Regardless of who started it, it needs to end! In one aspect you two are one of the same. You both are too bull headed to know when to stop, especially when you are mad or think you are right and the other is wrong. From reading the e-mails its like you two are trying to out do each other to see who has the last word, who was the worse sinner, or who can quote more out of the Bible, or which version of Christianity is right or wrong. It looked like two high school kids, make that just plain kids, tying to prove who has the better toy. In my book the Bible was written by God through the prophets and interpreted by man, and I am sure we all can agree on one thing Ö man is flawed. He will interpret the Bible, find quotes that he needs to reach his means and to prove his point. Does this mean that I do not believe in the bible, God, Jesus, or any of that? No. What it means is that I am what is known as a doubting Thomas, and probably will be for life until I see, with my own eyes, not what someone tells me was the work of God. I still consider my self a Catholic, even if I am not practicing, and probably will for a while longer. Now that I have gone off on a tangent I will get back to what I was saying. It seams like at one point you two were trying to out do the other on who can quote more from the bible or who has done more wrong. (ed. note: I only quoted back what she said and inserted my comments on the irony) Now, I am not saying either one of you was right or wrong, but it seems like you too are trying to win at “Who can throw more mud.” To quote something I know, “when you are keeping score, at the end all you have left is a score card” (think I quoted that right). So what have we gained through all this???? Nothing!!! And what have we lost or the potential to lose???? I am not going to answer that … you do it Ö Iím sure you can figure that out!!!

I am just saying all this letter bashing needs to stop, donít reply to each other’s e-mails. I donít even want a reply to this one, it is not asked for or wanted, even though I will probably hear it from M (wife) anyway, if she does not delete it.

What have I accomplished by this e-mail? Probably nothing, but I have gotten some stuff off my chest. You may just call this just a bunch of ramblings of an old man, I really donít care. All I want you two to do is to look at what a mess all this has become as a result of it. Who is to blame? Me, because I am the type of person who tries to keep every one happy, even though I know I canít. Call it a character flaw, one that will be there for a long time to come. Know this, I love my wife, and will do what ever it takes to keep her in my life.

Rick

P.S. I am going to leave you two with a quote, “To error is human, to forgive is devine”

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

6 replies on “A Message at Last…”

Oh man…there are just no “winners” in this situation…everyone loses somehow. I hope one day she figures out that you can’t bully love into staying — otherwise he’s got yet another difficult marriage ahead. FWIW, I thought you took the high road in this situation — and deep down, I think he knows/sees that, too.

Christine, it’s no wonder why you loved him and wanted to remain friends with him. Give it some time and maybe after a few years she will feel a little more secure about their relationship and not consider you a threat. Until then, keep you chin up and proceed with the annulment.

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