White Lesbian Name Generator: Now that you’ve come out, it’s time to become part of the Lesbian Nation. How? We’ll recognize you by your white lesbian name! Cast off the name of your oppressors, and take a new name that will help the Lesbian Nation find you and welcome you to the Sisterhood. My name is Ebony JuicyChild, Chelsey is Star BigLips and Naomi is Garnet StrongBird. I had to do all of us since we are triplets now…
Now I don’t have to worry about any of the old posts that were done with Blogger in May. I copied over all of the May posts here, and all of the prior month’s archives are linked in the Archives section. Know what? GreyMatter ROCKS!
Is Your Name Sexy? I am such a “C”. Super J (John) sent me the link, and he’s definately a “J”! You rock, Super J!
I’ll miss Ken. He rocks. Visit pocketlint.net – it will someday rule the world. (Be sure to check out all of his pictures and stuff while you are there. All of them.)
Sabby, Darling, I would be content to listen to you until you ran out of steam. And when you ran out of steam then you could listen to me make a short story long…
And thanks Sabby for making me tear up with the mermaid story. I have felt like such a mermaid lately. I love it. I’ll share the saga of why I feel like a mermaid later on. (It is of course related to the Insignificant Other. As most sagas are.) Sabby linked to this site which has the mermaid story and more commentary.
From May 1st – I was reading Pischina’s blog and she wrote, “If I put salsa on my eggs that is so hot that my nose is running and my tongue hurts, Am I burning more calories?” I found this concept to be hysterically amusing. My best friend, Chelsey, finally installed AOL’s IM at work today (yeah!) so I sent it to her. She wrote back, “um, no. but, if you drink ice cold water to cool the burn, you’re burning 25 calories per 8 oz. glass. does that help?” That in turn made me laugh even harder because the concept of burning the calories drinking cold water was simply amusing. I had to ask just why that would happen, and she explained that, “your body burns those calories heating up the water to 98.7 degrees. cool, huh?” You know what Chelsey? That is pretty cool. See, if you hadn’t been on IM I would have never learned that useful tidbit of information. I missed you honey-bunch, I am glad you’re back!
And the last post from May 1st – I read Amy Bloom on Why Women Love Bad Boys. Whoa. I love how she said, “Mainly, I think people are afraid. Most of all, people afraid of being alone. And so they tend to settle for partners whom, if they were looking for friends, those people wouldn’t even make it onto the short list.” The whole article is so right on target, it was just what I needed to read tonight. And the last paragraph, “In a spouse, look for what you would look for in a friend, plus sexual attractiveness. Loyalty, trust, sense of humor, kindness. Commitment to the friendship. Positive feelings toward you. Those are things that we actually expect in our friends, and those things are important.” Makes me think of the IO and how we didn’t have those things. Good article. I’ll have to print it out and keep it handy as a reminder not to fall back into the “comfortable” relationship that only leaves me miserable. Every single time I talk to the IO I walk away shaking my head and wondering why I did it again. Time after time. And yet I hold on to this insane belief that “this time it will be different, this time things will change.” Nope. Never does. Tonight he was upset because I asked him to call me, and he replied with his usual “or you can call me.” I guess that it is better to him if I call him? Who knows. I asked when to call, we agreed on 10pm. I fell asleep on the couch, woke up after 11 and couldn’t decide if it was too late to call or not. Suddenly he IM’s me. “Thanks for calling”. I told him what happens, but he is still in a hissy fit mood. I offered to all right then, just a quick call. “No, I am going to bed”. This went on for about 20 minutes – where if I had just called then I wouldn’t be mad right now! How lame is that, someone wants to call you and you say no but you can then go on & discuss it. Look, there I go shaking my head in confusion again.
I do not NEED a man in my life. I want a man in my life. There is a huge difference. I also want the strength to walk away from *him*. He keeps proving over and over that things will never change. And as long as he thinks it is acceptable to treat me like that he does not deserve me. (Said with that sassy hair-flipping tone!)
Forcing myself to change the subject… I went to court this afternoon for my speeding ticket. The cop that gave me the ticket was there – and yet they dismissed my case. “Insufficient Evidence”. Huh? Ok, I was speeding. 74 in a 60. (On I-45 in Houston, 74 is pretty much going with the flow) He pulled me over & wrote me a ticket. Where is this lack of evidence? Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t question them about this *at all*. I just wonder why they do that. I am very thankful that they do though – I really didn’t need another bill to add to the pile!
I took the test over at ColorQuiz.com. Somedays it amazes me how “right on” these test results can be, you know? Here are my results, and considering my current mood they are pretty darn skippy accurate:
Your Existing Situation: Persistent. Demands what she feels to be her due and endeavors to maintain her position intact.
Your Stress Sources: Feels unappreciated and finds the existing situation disagreeable. Wants personal recognition and the esteem of others to compensate for the lack of like-minded people with whom to ally herself and make herself more secure. Her sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for her to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and merge with another. This disturbs her as she regards such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome; only by not succumbing to them, she feels, can she withstand the difficulties of the situation. Wants to be valued as a desirable associate and admired for her personal qualities.
Your Restrained Characteristics: Feels listless, hemmed in, and anxious; considers that circumstances and forcing her to restrain her desires. Wants to avoid open conflict with others and to have peace and quiet. Insists that her goals and realistic and sticks obstinately to them, even though circumstances are forcing her to compromise. Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner.
Your Desired Objective: Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.
Your Actual Problem: Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.
Your Actual Problem #2: Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources. A feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. Tries to escape from this by relinquishing the struggle, and by finding peaceful and restful conditions in which to recuperate in an atmosphere of affection and security.
Tuesday, after dealing with the IO for the final time (may I be struck dead by lightening if I ever so much as speak to him again and I am not kidding about that) I told several friends of mine that I just want to surround myself with friends, relaxing, enjoying their company. Not worrying about dating or the long term, just having fun. One of the people I talked with was Tom, who I had basically stopped talking to and doing things with recently so as to not upset the IO. I have missed him though, he is fun to hang out with. A bit zany & kooky, but definately fun. I am going to have to see if he wants to get together this weekend. I want to take Jason to the Star Wars exhibit that Laura went to – her pictures look so cool – and I bet Tom would love it too. Hmmm… I need to call him tonight. Tomorrow night Chelsey & I are supposed to go the the “Granny Panties Movie” (more frequently referred to as Bridget Jones’ Diary). I can’t wait! Haven’t been to a movie since Tom & I went to one in February! *gasp* Pretty shocking considering how often I used to go.
I will agree with the IO on one thing – life is a lot more peaceful without him around…
I surrender. I have been so happy with Blogger for so long I didn’t want to give up on them. Until today. It kept eating my posts. It wouldn’t let me log in when I wanted to. I knew it was time. I will copy over the May entries and previous archives will still be here. It will take me a few days to get it all set up. Please be patient… *grin*