Category: BlahBlahBabble

I talked earlier today about my energy level. I have so many things I want to do, and there never seems to be enough time to do it all. Tonight as I read a few of my favorite creative blogs, I realized one of the main issues that is bothering me.

I have bottled up creative energy that I’m not allowing to flow.

I started to figure it out last night, as I read one of my “Back in Time” posts from 2002. I’ve seen it before in my own writing, but never really figured it out until now. My writing lately sucks. Ok, maybe it doesn’t suck, but it has been seriously lacking. Reading through my old writing, I sense the void in my writing of the past several months.

I’ve said many times in the past 6 months that I want to change. I keep saying that things will be changing around here, and yet they never do. Some of that ties in to the fact that with my job now, I don’t have the time online (or the energy to be online) that I used to have.

Mike is also a factor in all of this. He is wonderful, and I’m glad he has a blog too. He can share in the online aspect of my world. However, a year ago my blog was my outlet. My place to vent, my place to rant, my place to share. Now I share a lot of items with him that I say I am going to blog about later, but I never get around to writing about it.

I miss writing like that. I miss pouring out my thoughts in to words. Now that I recognize these things, I can try to work on it. It may not be every day, but more than the present. That would make me happy.

I have also said for some time that I blog for myself, not for anyone else. I used to write whatever I wanted to about my feelings. Now? I had a moment last night when I was watching TV and thought about something I wanted to blog about. I knew it was potentially a topic that could explode in to a flame war on me though – and I told Mike about it and that I wouldn’t write about it. Today I realized how frustrating that is. I want to write what I think and what I feel. I care about the people reading my site, but I don’t care enough to sacrafice my feelings.

Add on top of my desire to write the fact that I want to take better photographs and all of the other projects I want to finish, and I have a lot to do. But I can do it. Knowing what I need to do is the biggest step, and while the fluff posts will still exist, expect things to turn around here from time to time. I have a lot inside still that I want to share.

There are Blogathon posts all over the web lately, but I wanted to make sure to point out a wonderfully, worthy cause – United Teen Equality Center : Young Women’s Project. If you haven’t read on Erika’s site already about the project, take a moment to check it out. They are creating a magazine for young women: “Goddess is a real magazine, by real girls, for real girls, to empower them to have a voice, and make their diverse voices heard — because every girl is a goddess.”

The time, effort and love that will go in to this project makes it worth every penny they can raise. If you can, help. And spread the word… these girls need your support.

It’s odd. Between the chaos of last week and then being away from televisions and computers all weekend, I feel out of it. The only news I’ve seen or heard in days is that Barry White died. Being an information junkie normally, this is surreal in a way. I’ve read maybe 5 blogs since I got home yesterday. Last night it was a matter of no energy, but I’m finding today it’s a matter of something completely different. I have so many things on my plate to do right now, and they are falling in to place as far as their levels of priority. Jason will be gone until Sunday, and I have housework things I want to do before he returns. I need to go to the gym. I’ve got friends that I want to catch up with. I want to go places, I want to do things. I want to move. I want to mark things off of my to do list.

I can’t sit and focus on things right now. Steady movement is essential. The energy feels good, and I’m thankful for it. If I seem to be scarce, you now know why.

Hi Honey! I’m home! New Orleans was … wet. It rained almost the whole time we were there. That ended up being a good thing though because it kept things cool, and umbrellas kept us dry. It let up for the fireworks on the 4th though, and Saturday night for our carriage ride through the French Quarter. I took a ton of photos (over 200), we walked A LOT, we road the used Lexus gs 350 new york ny that our uncle bought, we saw Bourbon Street, we visited Pat O’Briens (mmm…), bought souvenirs, and have stories to share. I’m tired after spending over 7 hours in the car today, so here is the fast run down:

:: Thursday we left right after work, headed east on I-10. Checked in to our B&Bs. Chelsey and Doug were a little surprised to find a lesbian bar next door to theirs.
:: Friday morning started off slow – streetcar in to the French Quarter, strolling down Bourbon and Royal. Bought a $2 poncho when the rain started to pour, letting Mike use my umbrella.
:: Met up with Chelsey and Doug at Cafe du Monde. Cafe au lait and beignets. Gift shops, Jax brewery. Rain.
:: Late lunch at the Gumbo Shop. Pat O’Briens. Crowds on Bourbon Street. Drunks puking on the sidewalk. Sex shops. Crowds. Live music. Amusement.
:: Go Fourth on the River, viewed from the balcony at Jax Brewery. More bars. Late night pizza. Drunks sleeping while eating pizza, falling off of bar stools. Long, long wait for the streetcar back to the Inn.
:: Saturday morning we visited Mike’s Aunt Yvonne, hearing lots of family stories, seeing family photos and taking pictures.
:: Walking in to the French Quarter, stopping at Margaritaville (got my lost shaker of salt), more cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde.
:: Lunch, followed by more shopping. Toured the St. Louis Cathedral. Walked to the cemetary, only to find it had already closed for the day. Voodoo museum. Lots of walking, more shops.
:: Dinner at Royal Cafe, drink from Pat O’Briens, and a carriage ride around the French Quarter. Perfect ending to a good day.

New Orleans is quite a different city. Someone once asked me why I would want to visit there because it was “dirty and ugly” – not quite an assessment I would agree with entirely, but I can see it. The history is amazing, and there are many things that are gorgeous. At the same time, it’s filthy, hot, and rough. I’m glad I went, but in ways the city itself did not live up to my image of it. I’m not sure yet if I’m disappointed by that though because we had such a wonderful time – and in the end, that matters the most.

I have my maps and my list of 101 Things to do in New Orleans. One hour and counting until we head out. Approximately 6 hours in the car each way, so I may catch up on some sleep and get to read a good chunk of Harry Potter. We’ll be heading back on Sunday, but I should be posting pictures here and there at the BPC Moblog, and you can always watch for us on the Webcams!