Let’s be clear. I know absolutely nothing for the most part about the three main candidates running for mayor in Houston. I do not live within Houston city limits, so I do not get to vote for the position. I tried to watch the debate last week between Orlando Sanchez, Bill White and Sylvester Turner. I couldn’t handle it. Between Orlando’s makeup and eyeliner (yes, seriously), Bill’s jug-handle ears that left me making gestures to the TV as if I could pick him up by them, and … well, Sylvester is just a freakin’ idiot that leaves me wanting to throw things at the TV – I switched the channel within 10 minutes. If I need a political update, I’ll just head to Chuck’s site and get the update on the Texas and Houston political scene.
I did notice the most recent television ad for Orlando Sanchez though. It starts off with an image of a tire splashing through a pothole, with the voiceover telling us how Orlando will fix Houston. You know, the usual babble that we always get. The handshaking, the smiles – the makeup and eyeliner. (I can’t deny that I find the man creepy, but that really had no part in my impression of the ad.)
At the very end, they show a crowd gathering around him. The crowd is diverse – blacks, whites, Hispanics, oriental – a mixture of people, much like Houston itself. One problem though – they were dim. I can’t really explain it, but it was as if there was no lighting on them – but Orlando?
Orlando was glowing. Like Jesus, risen on Easter morning. A glow that could probably be seen for miles. A glow that made me realize just how far politics in Texas have gone.
A vote for Sanchez is a vote for God. Smite him, and you will be struck down. I am sure of it, and I am glad I don’t get to vote in the Houston elections after all!
On a sad side note, the day after I noticed Orlando’s glow in the commercials and decided I really wanted to blog about it – I stopped seeing the commercials. For a week or so, I saw them all the time. The glowing image of Orlando was burned in to my brain. Now? Nothing. However, there are some old episodes of Seinfeld on the Tivo … maybe I’ll get lucky. Trust me, if I get a photo of it, I will share!