I hate it when old memories come back and hit you in the face. In my cleaning/packing process, I just came across a large stack of photos that have the Insignificant Other and his family in them. Granted, I dated him for many years, but I’ve been purging anything that has a “tie” to him over the past two years.

I hate throwing away photos. It just seems wrong. However, I don’t want these photos to be a part of my future. What should I do?

For now, I shut the box and moved on. I don’t even want to touch them.

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

23 replies on “Blech…”

I think that you should mail them to him or his family with no return address. Just because they aren’t important to you doesn’t mean that wouldn’t be much appreciated by them.

i actually agree with Emily… that is if you’re still “talking” to him. if so, then i’d mail them back… but if you’re not talking to him and have no urge to initiate some kind of communication, then i’d throw it away… but my fear is that all the bad stuff that happened would come flooding back and i wouldn’t want to put myself through all that. i mean, what was left unseen should be left unseen and what better way than in the trash.

I was in this situation. I don’t throw away pictures (normally), but in this case, I did. I figure that they don’t have the pictures, haven’t seen them, and won’t miss them. Am I mean? Perhaps. But my own sanity and wellbeing is more important, methinks. If the situation were reversed, I’m sure I’d be a bit upset to hear that pictures were thrown away, but again, I’d get over it: if I hadn’t seen the pics, I wouldn’t know what I’m missing, and thus, I wouldn’t miss it!

Well, I don’t really know the history here, but if the IO is also Jason’s bio father, you might want to put a few select photos away for when he’s older.

Just a thought.

Yep -I agree with what everyone has said – unless any of them have to do with Jason, just toss them! I kept pics of my ex-es but only becasue I am on good terms with all of them and they aren’t bad memories… just part of my college years. If they had been, I wouldn’t have kept them.

The IO is not Jason’s father. At the time the photos were developed, we got two sets of pictures (free, Walgreen’s rocks), so he has (or had) his own set. I have had no contact with him since 2001, and I don’t particularly want to initiate contact with him. Some of the photos are of his daughter’s wedding (which I have horrible memories of, and it’s how the “Insignificant Other” nickname came to be), but she had a set too.

I think EJ is right – I should just toss them out. I don’t need to open old wounds, and I absolutely don’t want him to have anything to do with my life.

Irony? Years ago, he found my blog. That is the last time we had any contact at all – he e-mailed me about it. Sometimes I wonder if he reads it. Doesn’t matter, I’m not contacting him. I may keep a few that might be of interest to Jason later (if he is in them, etc.) but the rest are going out.

Unless he is your children’s father then I’d throw them away. They are unnecessary. But if he is connected to the kids then I’d box them away until the kids might want to have them.

funny you should bring that back up Christine – about him finding and reading your blog – because i think that was around the time i started reading you. i could be wrong, but those entries rang very loud in my ears.

if it were me – I’d trash them! That isn’t part of your life anymore. I wouldn’t mail them to his family – if I received photos from my ex I would assume he was trying to initiate contact again, even if there were no return address. There are ways to find people without them giving you their address. I just think that would send the wrong message. But that’s just if it were me – you have to do what makes you comfortable and happy!!

I’d get rid of them. They’re serving no purpose in your life except to annoy you when you see them, and he doesn’t need them, so…off they go. I don’t know if I’d burn them. Just pitch ’em out with the trash. No drama, just purging your life of unnecessary bullshit.

I’m having the same sort of dilemma myself. Our wedding took place on his grandparents’ 61st wedding anniversary, so it was sort of a party in their honor, too. I’ve pretty much decided to cull the photos of his family and mail them to his mother. For a while I thought that since my family had paid for them it was my right to keep them, but I’ve SO moved on, and it just doesn’t feel that important anymore, you know? Just one less thing to carry into my new (and improved) life… 🙂

i like finding photographs… i have a whole stack of found photographs.

if you have any of just him, or those you’re comfortable with having public, i’d carry them around and leave them places — tuck them under car windshield wipers, into newspaper boxes, etc.

Close it, seal it, and if ever a hard time comes in the new marriage, open it and look at it. Then know why you are where you are now and be happy again.

I’m out.

ick. I’ve been through that and I finally had to break down and throw them away. I have pictures of a few of my exes that I’m still on decent terms with. but whenever I see a certain ex’s picture, I just want to scream, so I definitely dumped those.

aww i know how hard that is!! youll be okay…trust me!! just keep some of em’ because u can remember some of the memories u used 2 have…LuV yAh
iM 0ut x0ox

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