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Amuse Me

To Help the Guys…

My Dad sent me this tonight, and it just amused me too much – I had to share!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE. Men, consider this the “Owner’s Manual” you’ve been looking for.

1. *Fine* : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. *Five Minutes *: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. *Nothing :* This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. *Go Ahead* : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. *Loud Sigh* : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. *That’s Okay* : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. *Thanks* : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint… Just say you’re welcome.

8. *Whatever* : Is a women’s way of saying F– YOU!

9. *Don’t worry about it, I got it :* Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

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Amuse Me BlahBlahBabble

A Nice Surprise!

I graduated from high school back in 1987. Whenever I sign up for things like Facebook and they offer to help me find my classmates, I laugh. I’ve never once found anyone I’ve known online. Not for the school I graduated from here in Houston (in a class of almost 600), or from the high school I attended my freshman & first half of my sophomore year in Illinois. (Go, Bishop McNamara!) So when I was setting things up in my Facebook account last week, I really was not expecting to find anyone I knew.

And for once, I was wrong.

Back in high school, I had a friend named Liz Henry. She was cool, different, a free thinker, and someone that hated all the typical high school cliques. She was a lot stronger than I was, and I admired the crap out of her for it. Plus she was just freakin’ awesome. Smart too – so smart, she graduated early. And with the craziness that is senior year, I lost touch with her.

Until now. She was one of 4 people that graduated with me that showed up on Facebook. She was the only one that I really knew of the one that showed up on the list. Before I added her as a friend, I spotted that she lives in San Francisco now, and I decided to check out her contacts – only to see several people that I also know! Of course, I had to send her a message through Facebook right away, and we’ve exchanged a few emails. Turns out we were both at SxSW this year, and we didn’t even know it.

Whoa! What a small world. And amazing to think that 20 years later, we both have the same fabulous taste in friends. It still amuses me every time I think about it! I guess I’ll have to stop mocking the social network sites when they offer to show me people I might know!

(In case you wondered, you can find her at http://liz-henry.blogspot.com/, among other places.)

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Amuse Me

Lucky Rabbit’s Foot…

Mike & I both agree, this commercial *SERIOUSLY* rivals the Cat Herder commercial, which for many years has been my all time favorite commercial. Matter of fact, I wonder if it was made by the same people. It is so very fabulous! I crack up every single time that I watch it!

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Amuse Me

Proving, Again, That You Can Buy Anything Online…

Helping Jason prepare for his Biology final exam, we were looking up information on the human enzyme in saliva. One of the first results on the list? A lab where you can buy AMYLASE, alpha Human Salivary.

We process over 500 liters of human saliva a year to produce tens of millions of units of high purity Human Salivary alpha Amylase for research and the clinical diagnostic market. We can provide Human Salivary Amylase enzyme antigen in any buffer required to meet your specific enzyme requirements.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Jason wants to know how they collect those 500 liters of human saliva. Personally, I don’t really want to think about it.

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Amuse Me

Well, Alrighty Then!

In my daily moderation “catch the valid comments that aren’t spam and make the bad spammers go far far away” check, I came across one of the most hysterical sort-of spam comments ever. Well, really – it was the one line that just really, really stood out.

heyyy mai big sexy beast you!!! i love your hot new sponser mai little hot cheeks.. you are as hot as the waffles on mai breakfast plate . i love your hottie hot hot headband . it makes you look even more sexier than you really are!! call meeh
(253)-xxx-xxxx.

ps. will you have 17 kids with meeh

pps. i dont want to adopt!

ppps. i want to do it with you the old fasioned way!!

pppps. mai name is sanfert and i am 57 yrs.old.
how old are you?? i want the young type!!

Uhm, 17 kids? No thanks. Plus I’m happily married, thankyouverymuch. But thanks for the laughs, Sanfert!