Knitting and crocheting has taken over our house recently. (Gee, bet you never would have guessed…) While pondering things that I can make and new domain names to show off crafty items at, I finally hit on a fabulous domain name that wasn’t registered.
SimplyTwisted.org
It is now mine. All mine. Mike asked me what sort of items I could post on that domain, seeing as how they would have to be somewhat twisted in nature, of course. (I’m actually very tempted to move this blog there, but I need to think about that some more. Moving is a pain.) So in the past 15 minutes, the following items have been tossed out:
– Dick Warmers (with optional matching mittens, scarf & hat)
– Cock Koozees
– Testical Toasties
– Dick Warmers with beads (really? Would that hurt?)
– Schlongjohns
– Johnson Jacket
– Butt Coasters
Hey, anyone up for designing the patterns for these? Does Knitty have anything online already? I mean, the offer a uterus – so why not a dick warmer? What size needles would you use? And what gauge?
Update! There is a knitted willie warmer pattern (found thanks to Alysha, on a site appropriately named “Danglie Bits”), so I’m all set! There is also the Y2K Wooly Willow Warmer (a generic thong) and Willie Warmer pictures! Oh, and in case I never figure out how to knit, I have the option to crochet a willie warmer! Whee! We can modify them into cock socks and Schlongjohns now!
19 replies on “Cockoozees?”
I suppose it depends on the size of the dick…
🙂
There is a pattern floating around the web that would suit, search for “Knitted Willie Warmer” in Google. 😉
Schlongjohns!! I would buy one for the hubby. 🙂
http://www.knitlist.com/01gift/Seamless.htm
http://www.dangliebits.com/fiber.html
http://www.keyway.net/crafts/wwpat.htm
Someone posted a list of links to naughty knit patterns after the uterus pattern came out. I’ll see if I can find it in my bookmarks.
LOL, that’s fantatic, I can’t wait to see what comes from this 😀
that’s the best domain name i’ve seen in a LONG time!
My grandmother, (yes, my grandmother) crocheted “cock socks” for my male cousins one year for Christmas. They were all between the ages of 8-14. She also asked my cousin Jeremy to get her a “merkin” one year for Christmas (see http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_232.html ) he was 11 years old and tried to buy one at the K-Mart. Good times.
Wow! I can’t wait to see your knit blog and projects!
OMG, i can’t believe you’re going to do this! at least i’m getting something that is not on that list. 🙂
ROFL! I doubt I will ever make one of the items, it was more the amusement of our brainstorming on the whole “simply twisted” idea … and then the amusement to discover someone has already made patterns for them!
Why am I suddenly reminded of a certain dinner conversation, oh, about a year ago? Though that one centered around soap… 😉
ROFL! I almost added the soap items to my list of things that belong on simplytwisted.org – with commentary on all of the names and the need for legal disclaimers. You guys were the BEST focus group a girl could ask for!
my mom got one as a shower gift for her wedding in 1974.they tell us size doesnt matter.
you missed peter heater and willie warmer. I saw one marketed as a peter heater years ago.
Hi All, UK South West Male wants to be an unpaid Model for the Willy Warmer Gig. Any UK Knitters please contact me 🙂
You missed peter heater and willie warmer. Why am I suddenly reminded of a certain dinner conversation, oh, about a year ago?
I can’t believe you’re going to do this! at least I’m getting something that is not on that list. That was a good information.
I doubt I will ever make one of the items, it was more the amusement of our brainstorming on the whole “simply twisted” idea. Thank you for the idea.
Lol that’s a pretty funny idea XD