Knitting and crocheting has taken over our house recently. (Gee, bet you never would have guessed…) While pondering things that I can make and new domain names to show off crafty items at, I finally hit on a fabulous domain name that wasn’t registered.

It is now mine. All mine. Mike asked me what sort of items I could post on that domain, seeing as how they would have to be somewhat twisted in nature, of course. (I’m actually very tempted to move this blog there, but I need to think about that some more. Moving is a pain.) So in the past 15 minutes, the following items have been tossed out:

– Dick Warmers (with optional matching mittens, scarf & hat)
– Cock Koozees
– Testical Toasties
– Dick Warmers with beads (really? Would that hurt?)
– Schlongjohns
– Johnson Jacket
– Butt Coasters

Hey, anyone up for designing the patterns for these? Does Knitty have anything online already? I mean, the offer a uterus – so why not a dick warmer? What size needles would you use? And what gauge?

Update! There is a knitted willie warmer pattern (found thanks to Alysha, on a site appropriately named “Danglie Bits”), so I’m all set! There is also the Y2K Wooly Willow Warmer (a generic thong) and Willie Warmer pictures! Oh, and in case I never figure out how to knit, I have the option to crochet a willie warmer! Whee! We can modify them into cock socks and Schlongjohns now!

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

19 replies on “Cockoozees?”

ROFL! I doubt I will ever make one of the items, it was more the amusement of our brainstorming on the whole “simply twisted” idea … and then the amusement to discover someone has already made patterns for them!

ROFL! I almost added the soap items to my list of things that belong on – with commentary on all of the names and the need for legal disclaimers. You guys were the BEST focus group a girl could ask for!

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