Quiet at the BPC…

Our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parent’s house turned out to be quite wonderful. So good, we decided to stay over there on Christmas night too so that Mike would be on “my side” of town and we could hit Fry’s early on Friday morning. We played LOTR Trivial Pursuit with Jason on Christmas Day (“Santa” brought it for him) and he almost beat Mike & me! It was a really nice day for everyone.

Thursday night my Mom got a phone call from one of my aunts. My Grandmother had had a stroke on Christmas Day. (They think that she had one previously earlier in the month, but the nursing home said she didn’t.) My Mom talked with my other aunt that lives there in North Dakota to get more details.

Friday morning my Mom received word that my Grandmother had passed away at 5:30 am. It’s hard to explain and it may sound really strange, but it’s almost a relief – she had Alzheimers, and she has been a shell of her former self for many years. The last time I visited North Dakota, she was not able to really talk other than a few phrases that she used to frequently use. She hasn’t “known” me or Jason for years. I made my peace with it years ago – but as anyone who has dealt with Alzheimers first hand will probably say – it’s like watching someone that you love die, even though their physical being is left behind.

I know she is in a better place. I am at peace with that.

The end result is that I’ve felt very introspective for the past few days, and it will probably continue for awhile. I have family obligations to take care of, a son to spend time with, and a household that needs some attention too. My online time will be very limited over the next few days or weeks. If you need to reach me and you have my phone number – feel free to call. I’m not sure how often I’ll even be checking my e-mail. Sort of a hiatus from electronics – I just need some digital down time. I’m sure it all makes sense – I just need to regroup, refocus, and find some inner peace that I’ve lost somewhere along the way in the past few months.

Thank you, thank you, thank you again to everyone for your support – I truly appreciate it more than I can express with words, and it is warming and touching to sense the sheltering warmth that I know surrounds me, both with my friends here in Houston and around the globe.

May you find peace ahead in 2004…

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

37 replies on “Quiet at the BPC…”

*HUGS* I can totally understand how you are feeling as I went through this over the past few months.

I don’t have your number, but I will email you mine in case you want to talk.


Good luck to you, and just remember that: She is in a better place.

I know that when my Aunt, and Grandmother both died, that was my reaction too. THey were both really sick, the one had Alzheimers, the other one had bad infections running through her…and it was really better for them to both pass away.

I hope you find the peace and happiness that you deserve as well in the coming year. Everyone needs a break at some point – take your time! We’ll still be waiting here when you get back =)

christine, please know that i’m here for you and understand completely what you are going thru….

i think i’m in the same place that you are about right, just an overwhelming sense of too much to do, and never enough time to devote to any of it. you and i are the classic overachievers, aren’t we?

i’ll call you soon, know i’m thinking of you and that i love you, big.


Best Wishes to you.
I lost my Nan-nan and Grandad this year within the space of a few weeks. I know what you mean when you say it’s a relief, but it’s still hard.
I decided to take a break from the computer then too. I wanted to write, but couldn’t put anything into words, so I stayed away, spent time with friends and learnt some new crafts.
I hope your break is as helpful to you as mine was to me.
Take care.
Celeste (who reads your site daily, but is terrible at commenting)

Take your downtime, Christine! You deserve it, after your family loss (my condolences) and being sick, you’ve had a lot on your plate! Kick back and relax for a while. Sending good vibes and many hugs!

Hi. You dont know me, but I read your blog often, mostly because its the only other blog I’ve seen with cookie in the name and I’m a crazy little kid who likes to read about other peoples lives. Anyways, I’m sorry for your loss, but I look forward to your next post, as I’m a bit of an updte junkie…

I’m sorry for your loss. My grandfather is in a steady decline due to Alzheimers so I know where you’re coming from. Its a sad thing to watch. All my best to you for the year ahead.

I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I know what you mean about her being in a better place. I went through the same thing with my great grandmother. She didn’t “know” me for years. I actually feel closer to her now than I have in years. I feel like now she can see how I am and what I have been up to.

Hi there,

Just stumbled upon your journal from someone else’s. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother… but at least, like you said, it sounds like she is in a better place now.

Fry’s, huh? We live there. 🙂 I’m in Plano, and there’s a new one right down the street… very cool.

Feel free to stop by my journal and create yourself an account sometime. 🙂

– Suzy

i haven’t spoken to my grandmother (my only living grandparent) in almost 10 years, i think. my mom has issues with her (she’s her mother) and so because of that, i don’t feel compelled to contact her. i don’t know why. i guess it’s because i don’t want to defy my mother? from what i’ve heard, my grandmother isn’t herself anyway… hasn’t been so for years. even my cousins who live near her say so. she didn’t even attend my wedding. at least you made peace with your grandmother… in a way, i made peace with myself about my grandmother, knowing that i’ll probably never see her again. i just wish my mom would do the same thing. i’m sorry for your loss, Christine. a loss is still a loss… especially when it’s family.

My thoughts are with you at this time of loss. Even with your grandmother’s health, the situation must be difficult.

My great-grandmother (who is one of the women I look up to most in this world) has only recently become lost in her dementia. I feel like I’ve said goodbye to the Gram I knew and it was hard but I know when this stranger with her body passes, I will still feel sadness. I don’t think it gets easier – instead you get a double loss.

Christine, I’m so sorry to read about your Grandmother. I’m sure you’re right about her passing being a blessing of sorts, and I’ll be thinking of you. Take care, enjoy your reflective down-time, and I’m sure we’ll all be waiting for you when you feel like updating again. {{{Hugs}}}

I’m sorry for your loss. My grandmother died in 1995 after eight years with Alzheimer’s so I know what you mean about making peace with the loss.

Another Death in the Family
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