Watch out for these new viruses – neither Symantec nor McAfee have solutions as of yet!
The George Bush Virus – Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The Clinton Virus – Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus – Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The John Kerry virus – causes the floppy to flip flop on its stored memory.
The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus – Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus – Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus – Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus – Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus – Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus – Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus – Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus – Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus – Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy… then discards it through Windows.
[via e-mail from my Dad.]