We Need the Orkin Man, Stat.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I’m wide awake at the wrong hour of night, again. For weeks, this has been going on. It has allowed me to read a lot, so that is a good thing. But I would prefer to sleep at night. Anyways, I didn’t want to read any more tonight, so I am killing time on the internet. I hear a rustling sound out in the kitchen. I assume it is Murphy (aka “Big Fat Cat”) out there, tossing around a scrap of paper or something he has found. The noise gets louder. I realize Murphy is in the corner of the living room. Chloe is in her doggie bed. Mona is perched on the arm of the couch right behind me, where she likes to sit when I am here. Mike & Jason are both in bed, sleeping like normal people.

So WHO is making that noise?

Right as I start to walk to the kitchen, a huge roach runs from one side of the room to the other. Too fast for me to even do anything about it. This roach was so huge, I might have mistaken it for a tiny mouse if I hadn’t seen it up close and way too personal. Huge. Huge. Huge. (I should add that a “roach” here in Houston is actually more of a water beetle, not a disease carrying creature. They are still gross.)

I’m surprised that Mike & Jason are not awake now. My scream was a little loud. Fortunately, they are still sleeping.

I, on the other hand, may never sleep again. I’m not afraid of bugs normally, but this was the exception. Consider how much Mike hates roaches, I’m sort of glad he slept through the whole thing. I suspect he will be calling the exterminator tomorrow.

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

9 replies on “We Need the Orkin Man, Stat.”

OMIGOSH. Chills. Goosebumps! We get those in the house after it rains. I was told they are wood roaches, palmetto bugs . . . whatever! (It really doesn’t matter what they’re called when they’re coming in the house and they’re big enough to wear your clothes and they FLY and CHASE you).

Anyway . . . there is nothing quite like being able to hear them walking across your tile. *insert ear-piercing scream here*

My husband runs away like a little girl when those big roaches get in our house. One night he noticed one and told me to kill it. Then it flew over to another wall and he just screamed out, “THEY CAN FLY, TOO???” It’s great entertainment. Well, minus the part about a bug being in the house.

LOL! When Sam and I went on our honeymoon to Jamaica they had roaches like that running around outside. Of course… then it started to rain, and all those buggies started looking for cover… and since our room was on the ground floor that meant OUR ROOM! EVEN OUR DRAWERS THAT HAD OUR CLOTHES IN THEM. Man, those things were awful. We made them move us to higher ground and wash all our stuff. Ick Ick Ick!!!

I love my Orkin man – he’s gotten rid of fleas, a roof rat, and scorpions (although those took a while). It seems like every time I start thinking I could save a little money (for yarn, of course) by canceling the regular visits from Johnny the Orkin man, some sort of new critter appears in my house.

AUGH!!!! YUCK! I. HATE. BUGS. The other day, I was in the garage doing something and a dragonfly flew in while I was in there. Of course, I swear bugs dive bomb me every time they see me, which of course this one did too. So I start screaming. I mean SCREAMING! But I was stuck and couldn’t leave the corner I was in because the dragonfly had me trapped. So I kept screaming. LOUD. The kids were scared to death and were trying to convince me to run out of the garage (they were safe behind the door in the laundry room — easy for THEM to say). Finally I made a run for it SCREAMING the whole way. I was safe outside the garage and standing on the driveway staring into the garage when the dragonfly suddenly flew out (again dive bombing me) so I SCREAM again. Suddenly I realize that my neighbors can probably hear me and are probably wondering what in the world was going on. I look to my left — no one’s in site, so I’m good. I look to my right, and this little two year old boy is sitting in his motorized car staring at me like I’m crazy, and sure enough out comes his father with a baseball bat in his hands. He must have thought I was being attacked by something MUCH larger than a dragonfly.


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