Where the Hell Did That Come From?

I’ve been married before. Not for long, and things didn’t end well. If I was the person I am today back then, I’m sure it all would have played out differently. (I wouldn’t have ever had a wedding to begin with.)

Being a divorced woman with a child, I’ve always said that if I ever get remarried, I would want a small simple wedding. Not 3 minutes in a courthouse, but just something really simple. No idea what, but nothing to froo-froo. Matter of fact, after Mike went to his best friend Chris’ wedding over Labor Day weekend in New York, we discussed wedding size and I realized we might have issues when he said he had to have a best man and at least 3 groomsmen. 4 attendants is not a small wedding.

So, what the hell happened in the past 3 days?

Yesterday, I went in to Waldenbooks to buy my annual half-price calendar (I always wait until January 2nd to buy them, sometimes even later so they are only $5.) While standing at the calendars, I turned and noticed the wedding planning book section. I was immediately sucked over there, drawn by their magnetic force. I wanted to buy one. No, scratch that – I wanted to buy three or four. I had been engaged for all of about 40 hours, and I was ready to start shelling out money for wedding planning books. Me. The one who always said a simple wedding is appropriate for a second time bride.

I left the bookstore without the books, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Where would we have a ceremony? Outdoors? Indoors? Downtown? Galleria? Museum District? The rehearsal dinner? A bridesmaid luncheon? What style of dress will I wear? What domain name should we use for our wedding website? All these thoughts are running through my head, almost non-stop.

Last night, Kymberlie & I tried to go to the museum but the exhibit was almost sold out and too crowded to enjoy. Then we went out to eat, and talking was good for me because it took my mind off of my own rambling thoughts. But as I was heading for home – I had to stop. I couldn’t take it any more. I called Mike and told him that I simply had to give in to the guilty pleasure that I’m allowed now.

I went and bought bridal magazines.

Let me tell you, there is nothing more delightful then spending a Saturday morning, sitting on your bed in your jammies, flipping pages of a bridal magazine. The cakes. The dresses. The photographs.

I really don’t want it all, I still want to keep things relatively simple, but I do want more then I originally imagined. I was worried at first about that – is it wrong as a second-time bride? However, I felt much better after reading through Emily Post’s Tips for Second Weddings. A marriage is something to celebrate – and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want a party where we can celebrate with our friends. I realized it’s ok to have the froo-froo dress if I want. We should have 100 guests if we want to celebrate with us. It’s a big day, and in my opinion the best part is celebrating the occassion with your friends and family.

The best advice I’ve seen so far? Again from the second wedding tip site:

“There is one very important fact to keep in mind when you are planning your second wedding, it is your wedding and you should do the things that will please you the most. The “rules of etiquette” are simply there as a guide. Remember this marriage is as important as a “first” marriage and it deserves the same excitement and joy!”

Now I just need to figure out which one of the wedding planner books is the best … any suggestions?