Where the Hell Did That Come From?

I’ve been married before. Not for long, and things didn’t end well. If I was the person I am today back then, I’m sure it all would have played out differently. (I wouldn’t have ever had a wedding to begin with.)

Being a divorced woman with a child, I’ve always said that if I ever get remarried, I would want a small simple wedding. Not 3 minutes in a courthouse, but just something really simple. No idea what, but nothing to froo-froo. Matter of fact, after Mike went to his best friend Chris’ wedding over Labor Day weekend in New York, we discussed wedding size and I realized we might have issues when he said he had to have a best man and at least 3 groomsmen. 4 attendants is not a small wedding.

So, what the hell happened in the past 3 days?

Yesterday, I went in to Waldenbooks to buy my annual half-price calendar (I always wait until January 2nd to buy them, sometimes even later so they are only $5.) While standing at the calendars, I turned and noticed the wedding planning book section. I was immediately sucked over there, drawn by their magnetic force. I wanted to buy one. No, scratch that – I wanted to buy three or four. I had been engaged for all of about 40 hours, and I was ready to start shelling out money for wedding planning books. Me. The one who always said a simple wedding is appropriate for a second time bride.

I left the bookstore without the books, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Where would we have a ceremony? Outdoors? Indoors? Downtown? Galleria? Museum District? The rehearsal dinner? A bridesmaid luncheon? What style of dress will I wear? What domain name should we use for our wedding website? All these thoughts are running through my head, almost non-stop.

Last night, Kymberlie & I tried to go to the museum but the exhibit was almost sold out and too crowded to enjoy. Then we went out to eat, and talking was good for me because it took my mind off of my own rambling thoughts. But as I was heading for home – I had to stop. I couldn’t take it any more. I called Mike and told him that I simply had to give in to the guilty pleasure that I’m allowed now.

I went and bought bridal magazines.

Let me tell you, there is nothing more delightful then spending a Saturday morning, sitting on your bed in your jammies, flipping pages of a bridal magazine. The cakes. The dresses. The photographs.

I really don’t want it all, I still want to keep things relatively simple, but I do want more then I originally imagined. I was worried at first about that – is it wrong as a second-time bride? However, I felt much better after reading through Emily Post’s Tips for Second Weddings. A marriage is something to celebrate – and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want a party where we can celebrate with our friends. I realized it’s ok to have the froo-froo dress if I want. We should have 100 guests if we want to celebrate with us. It’s a big day, and in my opinion the best part is celebrating the occassion with your friends and family.

The best advice I’ve seen so far? Again from the second wedding tip site:

“There is one very important fact to keep in mind when you are planning your second wedding, it is your wedding and you should do the things that will please you the most. The “rules of etiquette” are simply there as a guide. Remember this marriage is as important as a “first” marriage and it deserves the same excitement and joy!”

Now I just need to figure out which one of the wedding planner books is the best … any suggestions?

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

35 replies on “Where the Hell Did That Come From?”

Christine, I am from Corpus and I noticed that when we went to the Musuem to see those paintings it would be outrageous. Instead of waiting a couple of hrs in line we went and pretended to be really rich at the galleria. OH…. the joys of being broke. : D

You should definitely celebrate as big, or as little, as you want. It doesn’t matter that its the second. As for planning books, I didn’t really purchas any. Except I did have to buy the Martha Stewart book to get some ideas on decorating. I mostly stuck with bridal magazines and websites. I found that they were just as helpful, if not more, than any book I looked at.

I just got married for the second time. It was kinda funny watching my wife trying to resist the whole wedding planning thing … only to get sucked into it. It’s going to be fun watching you do the same thing. Good luck, and remember: we’re all in this for fun.

Mike and I got married on the beach at sunrise, it was just the two of us. It was just what I wanted. Just me, him, and a few White Ibis birdies (and some men on a fishing boat whooping and hollaring at us merrily). The thing is to make sure to do whatever you want, not what family demands. Nothing worse than dreading your own wedding day. So happy for you! =:D

Sherry has some books, and lots of information that you might want to look at. You’d be surprised how much money we saved by going with a few shops very near where you live!!! We’ve researched all over Houston, and since our wedding was less than a year ago, I’m sure much of the information will be the same.

I have a binder/organizer called “The Ultimate Wedding Planner and Organizer” I like it because it has a lot of information but because it is binder style it is easy to pull out pages that are about things that won’t be part of your wedding, the binder style also makes it easy for you to add what you want. It has a built in calculator and three hole punch as well…. congrats on the engagement!

I swore a lot of things after my first marriage ended, too, and find those oaths falling swiftly to the wayside. I agree with whoever said that you should celebrate your marriage the way you, both, want to. I look forward to reading about it! (sorry I haven’t posted sooner…I am a regular reader, but usually “too busy” to comment…Did want to congratulate you, though.)

Oh, my mother would be so proud. She is VERY into celebrations–and I’m right there with her. Yay, Christine! Do it exactly the way you want to do it, and to heck with anyone else.

This one is for you and Mike. Etiquette… meh. Appearances… feh. Follow your heart and plan *your* wedding, Christine, everything else will fall into place. Congrats on the engagement and warmest wishes for all that follows.

First of, congrats! A Christine & Mike combination will always assure success! 🙂

When I was planning my own wedding, I bought a book called “Your Wedding, Your Way”. I think you would like it. But don’t spend the money to buy it, I will mail you my copy…I won’t be needing it anymore!

I also have “The Knot’s” wedding book. I’ll send that along as well!

Once again, congrats! 🙂

I haven’t bought any of the books, And I’ve only got four more months and three days until our wedding. *gulp*
It’s my second wedding, as well…but the boy’s first. We’re still up in the air about EVERYTHING. All we know is that we want a simple ceremony and then we’re having a big casualy barbecue/pig roast so we can invite everybody and keep the costs down. And we’re doing all of this in my future in-laws’ front yard.
Do things in whatever way makes you happy! 🙂
Congratulations again!!!!

I only looked and dreamed about a new dress from bridal magazines. We had a small simple wedding. 🙂 Even though this is my first and only marriage, it is totally up to y’all what you want. You will probably end up somewhere the middle of big and small. My SIL was married the first time in a huge church wedding, the second time in a small chapel in Gatlinburg, TN.

Congrats again! I’m so happy for you both! 🙂

Christine, this post just totally made me smile! I’m so happy for you and Mike! 😀

As for wedding planning books, I loved The Knot’s Wedding Guide — lots of practical info.


i’ve been catching up w/ your blog…CONGRATULATIONS! i too hope to be a 2nd time bride soon and want to do the “whole shebang” again. i love the “best advice” tip because that is so true! good luck!

Hi, never posted here before, but wanted to add my congrats…I’ve been married before, and I always said that if I ever got remarried, then I would have to have THE DRESS. It could be anywhere, and done in anyway, but I have to have THE BOY and THE DRESS. So go for what you want!!!

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