Year: 2001

WOW! You know, I am one of those people that think a razor is just a razor. I don’t normally change brands, I liked the Gillette Sensor that I have used for years. After reading others rave reviews of the Venus (Mach 3) for women I decided to pick one up while going through Wal-Mart yesterday. OH MY GOODNESS! They should just pull all other razors off the market. It is amazing. I don’t think I will ever use any other razor again. I have never had such a smooth shave, and the truly pivoting head, which looks bizarre at first, is the best invention. Curves, bends – the Venus handled all of them without a knick. Everyone should be using these!

There is an add at the top of my AIM window right now. “Tivo. The greatest TV innovation since color.” I know that’s right. Tivo ROCKS. Guess what mine will record tonight? Making the Band!!! I was so excited when I watched the season premiere last weekend (on Saturday since the Tivo recorded it Friday night for me.) I don’t like the dreadlocks look on Jacob at all – I liked his hair before. It is fun watching these guys grow together as a band, but I understand their frustration as far as the pressure, like everyone expects them to fail. I am cheering them on. I think they are great!

I can predict what the IO will do soooooo well. I have been basically blowing him off, I realized I will never move on (which is what he said he wants – we “can’t work things out”) if I keep hanging on to him. Even though the last few times I have seen him have been more for fun – I did not do it as a means to change his mind – I have still seen him. So I have backed away. I stopped calling, and I talk to him only if he initiates the contact, which isn’t often. So, what does he do? He asks me today if I want to get together tonight. (Up until now, every time I have seen him has been my suggestion.) So predictable.

Here is where I frustrate myself though. You see, I have a tentative date tonight. Only tentative because he is working on an intensive project at work and not sure what time he will get off of work – but I have already made arrangements for a sitter, etc. Do I tell the IO “no, I have another date?” NO. I just tell him “oh, I don’t know … not sure if I can…” What is up with THAT??? Ugh! I could kick myself. The opportunity was right there. I know why I did it though. I don’t want to burn the bridge yet. I have walked over it to walk away, but I want the safety of knowing it is behind me in case I want to go back. And I don’t want to rock the boat with the IO. Which is stupid for two reasons: (1) because he is dating chicky-poo and (2) that was the problem for that past 8 years. I always tried to play nice. Tried to make sure I didn’t rock the boat. *sigh* Why do we do this?

I want things to go well with the “new guy” (should I just call him the NG now? LOL) because he seems to be a really nice, warm, loving, caring person. Who, like me, was in a relationship that was a struggle, where he wasn’t appreciated, where he would do nice things for the other person (his ex-wife) and get shut down for being nice. I know how he feels. I think that is why we are both so sensitive and appreciative of the small gestures – it is so often the little things that make all the difference in the world. Even if it doesn’t turn into anything more than what it is right now, it has made me see (AGAIN) all the things that are wrong with the relationship with the IO and all the things I want in my future.

Super J (who rocks!) pointed out last night that I have to be sure to date only people who can care about both me & Jason. The IO always had issues with doing “Jason Things” with me. Cub Scouts, plays, camping trips, whatever. He wasn’t there, and I can’t have that in my life – Jason matters more to me than any man. The ever wise Naomi pointed out “let it go, it doesn’t even matter what he thinks right? YOU are the one who is important here.”

I just have to be strong and burn the security blanket. Because when I think about it, there is *no* security there.

Wow, the design at Shinkansen [an online journal] is awesome, and her photographs in her gallery are amazing. Makes me want to run outside with the camera and spend endless hours taking photographs.

These made me think of Kymberlie, so I had to share them.

The Top 14 Signs You’re Married to a Liberal

14. In your wedding vows, “love, honor, and cherish” were replaced with “legitimize, empower, and respect her reproductive freedom.”
13. Pile of burned Ken Starr effigies in the back yard is starting to block the sun.
12. Supports Al Gore for President in 2000, but has no idea why.
11. After a poor performance in the bedroom, you find yourself enrolled in a federal program to correct your shortcomings.
10. To rectify years of persecution to women, she makes you wipe your own ass.
9. Misses your funeral to protest the harsh sentence given your killer.
8. You casually mention your “Euthanize the Homeless” idea and — BANG! — no sex for a month.
7. What, the family budget is *BALANCED*? Quick, let’s get to the mall and buy something!
6. Insists his socks are not mismatched, they’re “diverse.”
5. He was a tireless advocate of gun control until the impeachment hearings started. Now he owns a rocket launcher.
4. At the height of passion, cries out, “Tax me!!!”
3. It’s bad enough that he looks like an extra from “Deliverance” — now he can’t keep his loudmouth Cajun trap shut on those talk shows.
2. Constantly pelts your cats with ketchup, screeching, “Fur is murder!”
1. She’s got the kids playing “Barbaric Imperialists and Innocent Native Americans” again.