Year: 2001

Live today on the webcam… Me! Once I get it all configured, set up in the right spot & everything else it will go live. I am so excited.

This almost makes up for the fact that my TiVo is freaking out. It keeps freezing, and I have to recycle the power to get it “unstuck”. Then last night when I did that it just came up on the black “Almost ready…” screen. It never went any further. I am so mad. I finally rewired everything today so that I can record with my VCR tonight. I am still far from happy. And of course it went down just after 11pm CST last night, and the TiVo customer support group that I needed closed at 11pm. Augh!

Whoo hoo! Another Christine. I like finding people that share my name online. Ok, so – I am easily amused. Oh well.

Miles tried to turn off my lamp on my desk before we left the office – he would have killed the Betta cam! I can tell they turned off the overhead lights though, and the glare is strong. I am just happy that I got the cam set up finally and it is working!

Look at what I *finally* got added! The webcam! Yeaaaah!!! Now I just need a new hard drive at home. For not it is at the office, and it is watching the betta for tonight. Thanks to Bill for getting it tweaked to work for me! I am so excited! I can go home now after finally getting this all set up. Kudos to ConquerCam for their cool software that I am using to run the cam. A new image uploads every 2 minutes… the fish isn’t that exciting, every 30 seconds seemed a bit fast.

Watching the Oscars. I had to miss part of it to record Queer as Folk. Turned it back on in time to see Ben Affleck announcing the clip of Traffic, up for Best Picture. Ummm… Ben. Forget to brush your hair? Need a razor??? What’s up with that? And Bjork’s dress… the swan thing. ACK! Bob Dylan just won for his nominated song “Things Have Changed” from “Wonder Boys”. Pretty cool – he looked shocked. I like the song – may have to go visit Napster to get a copy.

Went out again on Friday with the IO. Had a good time, but some of the old tension was back. But overall, good time, ended on a positive note. Then I innocently approached him with a question yesterday that I thought would be fine – I set off a bomb. Memories flooded back in my mind. I don’t like having to tip-toe around, and I won’t do it. That was the issue back in January and many times before. Is it so wrong of me to want to know *how* he can go on & on about how he loved me & wanted to marry me 3 months ago but now he isn’t even sure he wants to date me? It is the question that goes through my mind constantly. I just don’t understand. Sigh. I talked with American Tom tonight. He is such a great guy – I like talking to him (maybe because he lets me babble) He said it would be “twisted” if I got back together with him. I know Naomi, Kymberlie and everyone else in my life thinks the same. Why is it that I am so drawn to him? Maybe he was right on part of it – I don’t want anyone else to have him. Or there is the other issue – for 8 years I have believed that we could make it work. Then there is the comfort thing. Dating sucks. It is “easier” to be with him. You know what though? Yesterday wasn’t easy. I haven’t missed that heartache at all in the past 2 months. Not one single bit. He would probably say the same – he hasn’t missed the frustration, which in turn causes him heartache too. Matter of fact, that is what he snapped at me yesterday – that we had had such a good time Friday night and then “I set things so far back” by “ruining it” by pressuring him to make a decision. Umm… takes two to tango baby, and your attitude flipping out at me definately set things back too. And I wasn’t asking for a decision, I just keep asking myself the same question over and over. Aaauuuggghhh!!! I hate not knowing what to do. I hate indecision even though I am indecisive. (I know, I know. Whatever.) I want to move forward with my life, one way or another. Oh, and if you’re wondering – he saw chicky-poo last night. Had dinner with her & her family (parents, siblings, kids) and then she was there when I called him to ask him about his camera that I borrowed for the overnight at Space Center Houston. I didn’t know until today that she was there. Poor chicky-poo, I am sure she has no idea. He won’t burn that bridge until he figures out what to do about me. And you know what, that’s just sad.

Oh! I babbled too much about this whole IO thing. Moving along… Saturday night Jason & I went to Space Center Houston. They have a camp-in overnight program for the Cub Scouts. It was great. We had about 15 boys there from our Pack, and they took us as a group to see some of the exhibits more up close & personal, with a private tour. Then we got to do different activities – learn facts about the planets; make a star chart so we could check out the stars; learn about constellations; learn about satellites. Then we got to sleep there. On the floor. Cozy. In the Starship Gallery area, by the mock-ups that were used for astronaut training – the Skylab 1-G Trainer and the ApolloSoyuz Docking Module Trainer. It was sooooooo cool. Really. Ok, the floor wasn’t cozy. But it was still cool. Then they woke us up this morning just like they do the astronauts – with music. We got to pack up, clean up, get breakfast, and then over to the Imax Theatre to watch “To Be an Astronaut”. After that we took the JSC Facilities Tram Tour where we got to see the X-38 Emergency Escape Craft that we are building for the Space Station. It was pretty neat. It was also amazing to just go past the building that contains Mission Control. “Houston, we have a problem…” Wow. All the history that has taken place there. Then when we got back to the Space Center we did everything else that you can do. My feet are killing me – but it was a terrific day. I am so glad we went. Now I want to go back!

Off to watch the rest of the awards, and to answer my e-mail from my ad online. His life is going on – so will mine… why shouldn’t it? Julia Roberts just won Best Actress for “Erin Brockovich”. I thought the film was great, and she was great in it. I didn’t think she would win though. Too “mainstream” – but I am really happy for her. She looks fabulous!

Stay tuned. I am sure the soap opera of my life is far from over!

Know what, Julie? It sure feels good to be writing again. I know I should have been all along, but you guys would have been bored to DEATH if I had just sat here and babbled non-stop about the IO. Naomi can vouch for me, I have been sort of obsessed & stuck on one topic lately. I thank her on a daily basis for being a great sounding board. Not sure where I would be if she wasn’t around to listen.

The IO was weird and moody on Wednesday, but more “normal” on Thursday. We are going out tonight. No idea where – unlike last week, he doesn’t seem too concerned about it. Which brings me right back to my previous debate… do I want him back in my life? I know I miss having him around. It’s “easy” in the sense that we have known each other for 8 years – sometimes getting to know someone new stinks. But then again, we have had lots of water go under the bridge in 8 years. Lots of water has gone OVER the bridge – the poor bridge has been all but washed away more then once. I am not sure if it is structurally sound. Maybe that is why I am feeling so rattled and unstable lately about all of this. So, you know what I decided to do? I decided that it is to early to start burning my other bridges. I had been writing and talking with one guy (I posted a personals ad to shop for a man back in January) for a few weeks. We haven’t met in person yet. Since the 13th, I had sort of slacked off on writing him – I still wrote, but not with the same zest. I decided that as long as chicky-poo is still in IO’s life, it is silly of me to *not* be writing. I also had had a few new responses that I hadn’t answered, so I took the time to write those guys too. It made me feel good! I had slacked off before, and I will still take things slow, because of the fact that it doesn’t make much sense to get in to talking with them and then to work things out with the IO.

I just have to figure out if it is the IO that I miss or being in a relationship. Being apart for 2 months, it is easy to gloss over the bad points, but as we spend time together again, the past is losing it’s shine.

Moving on to a new subject – my movie reviews for this weekend’s upcoming movies! This new “Heartbreakers” movie looks sort of lame, but Sigourney Weaver looks really good in it. Don’t think it would be worth $6.50 for a ticket. Maybe on cable. “Say it Isn’t So” looks really lame. Not worth watching on cable. “The Brothers” looks pretty funny though, I am adding that to my “try to see” list – I would be willing to pay for a ticket. They just gave it a B+ rating on the news too.

Darn. I wanted my free Taco from Taco Bell. More importantly, our boss said he would take the whole company to lunch at Pappasito’s if the Mir hit that target. Man!