This post started all nice and sweet. Then it got less sweet. Then it became way too long and overly passionate. Now I just have to say what I think and how I feel.
Drama has flared up in the Blogosphere again, and I wasn’t going to say anything – again. I was going to let the latest drama just fly on by, because I don’t read the site that was home to the drama (avoiding it is best for my stress levels) and I was only hearing about it from others. But after spending some time reading and re-reading Trish’s post, I could not sit in silence anymore. (By the way, if this post is full of holes for you, you can fill them in there.) It’s the same thing, every time. Every month or two, someone gets roasted – and I want to make it clear that I am far from the flames.
I’ve been venting for months that I get so frustrated at times that people associate my blogs with other blogs. I write for me, for myself, and share what I think. My blog is a drama free zone. Last time I think I went off on a troll, it was someone that I still suspect was either my former employer or my ex – and that was about two years ago. Flame wars don’t happen here and that’s a good thing.
The bad thing is that I am afraid that people assume that they can’t comment here because of the circle they think I’m a part of, that they think they aren’t one of my friends so they can’t, or the worst, they associate me with other bloggers that tend to send posses after people. Yes, I’ve written about all of this before, always in vague terms.
That is not me. I am not one of them.
I don’t read the blogs you probably think I read, and I don’t want to be thought of as one of them.
And I’ve been too chickenshit for the past 7 months to just flat out say that.
I’m shaking like a leaf just saying it now.
How freakin’ sad is that? How wrong is it that I am actually afraid to speak out on my own blog and say “I am not one of them” because I fear the wrath of those words?
NO blogger should cause people to shake with fear. NO ONE. And yet there are some that do. They have this power, and they don’t care how they weild it or who it hurts. With great power comes great responsibility. Power abused is a terrible thing. And I am sick and tired of it. I am tired of people assuming that I’m like that. I am tired of meeting bloggers in person, and being asked about the Blogosphere drama queen.
I don’t have the answers. I haven’t for months. I’ve tried to sort it out, I used to make excuses, and then I walked away. I couldn’t take it any more. It’s like a cult, and I left. Which is never easy. It’s not easy for me to walk away from someone that for over a year I considered a close friend. I haven’t felt that way for months now, and I don’t think I ever will again in this case. Normally I try to repair friendships, but I have seen this unending pattern for some time now, and I don’t think there is a fix. I decided long ago, after witnessing things that happened offline, no more. But I kept it to myself.
So many people have been hurt by this behavior in the past. People have stopped blogging because of attacks, or taken their sites to hidden spots to avoid further abuse. When you reach the point of contacting someone’s employer because of things said online, that is going too far. It disgusts me even more to hear that people are cheering this behavior on. If there is more to the story, that’s fine – but don’t post half of it and not the rest. Take it private.
What point has the blog society reached? Is this really how we want to treat each other?
It’s not how I want to treat anyone, and I never want to be treated like that. Blacklist me, delink me, block my e-mails, whatever. I don’t care. I refuse to live in fear. I was asked months ago by numerous people why I didn’t stand up and publically say something. Fear. Followed by my too optimistic desire to make everything ok, keeping everyone happy. I will not be afraid any longer.
Enough is enough. I’ve tried to say it for months in subtle ways, but enough of that. This will be the LAST time I speak out on a Blogosphere drama, but this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
So, once and for all, for the record… I am a free-thinking, free-standing, blogger for ME. I always have been. I have friends that I adore, but I think for myself. I would not ever be a part of something so horrid as these latest events. I’ve been to scared to say this for months, but no more. Read my site for who I am, but please don’t think that I am the sort that will tear you to shreds for what you say here in response.
DISCLAIMER: Big Pink Cookie is a drama free, comment friendly zone. If you disagree with me, that’s ok. This time, something had to be said – for all the times I’ve been silent before.