Category: Amuse Me

Ever wonder what it would be like if Winnie the Pooh had a blog? Well, now you can find out! Poohpundit puts a whole new spin on it! [via BoingBoing.net]

In my effort to improve myself & my life (see The Resolution Project), I have been drinking a bunch of water this afternoon. Sure, it’s just an afternoon so far – but you have to start somewhere! Kymberlie has been joining me at the water cooler … and I think pretty soon one of us is going to float away! Three glasses so far! And only one coke today at lunch! Whoo hoo!

Now we are trying to come up with some sort of rewards system. Something… to start with, I think it should be simple. Something like a penny in a jar every time you drink a glass of water and a penny if you work out, and at the end of the month we convert the pennies to equal something (quarters?) and then the person with the most pennies gets $5 from the other person as a “prize”. Hmmm… still have to tweak the rewards system. Ideas? Suggestions? Before I give this any more thought, I need to take a stroll down the hall to the potty (said with snotty French accent) first!

Dear Dumbass that was at my pool today:

My apologies if my 10 year old son was spraying you with his water gun. It should be noted, however, that maybe if you didn’t want to be fired on by him, as a grown adult (used in the loosest of terms) you shouldn’t have fired at him first. I watched you & your son do it numerous times.

I meant what I said. If you don’t want to get wet, then you shouldn’t be in the pool. It’s not a huge pool, so kids playing on a Sunday afternoon are likely to splash you and get you wet. Deal with it.

And as for your mouthing off directed at me – kiss my ass. I did not appreciate it, especially the “you should get off your ass and do something about it.” There were other parents there with smaller children then mine (yours was one of them) and that language is simply inappropriate. I would have told you to kiss my ass to your face, but because of the kids I refrained. One of us needed to be the adult, and I decided it had to be me. As for you saying I should have been watching my kid – I was. The entire time. That’s why I know you were just as involved in the water gun fight as he was. I was sitting at a table, facing the pool, and watching everything that was going on. Sad when a 20-something adult acts less mature then a 10-year old boy. At least he had the sense to move away from you and go play somewhere else.

I refuse to have my time at the pool ruined by a dumbass like you. We started to leave just to avoid you – and then I realized that was no fair to my son. He worked hard today on his homework to earn the chance to go to the pool, and so we stayed. I hope that upset you even more since you were enough of an ass to say that his departure would “make your day”. I hope our future appearances at the pool ruin your day just as much as our staying there today did. You hurt my son’s feelings with your inconsiderate statements, and you are lucky I didn’t open a big ol’ can of whoop ass on you. Next time you might not be so lucky.

I’m sure you’ll never see this note, but it sure does make me feel better writing it. And like I said, if you don’t want to get wet, get splashed, or get sprayed by a water gun, you shouldn’t be in the pool.

Uncle Scotty’s tips for straight boys. Offering up all you could ever want to know to keep you from being poisoned or smothered while you sleep by the woman in your life. Be sure not to drink any liquids while reading his post … I can’t be held responsible for the sticky-icky monitor screen.

After reading portia’s post, I can’t stop laughing! If I was a spice, I would be Oregano, the secret ingredient that just makes everything better!