House Cleaning Tips

If I had spent time working on the “Well, Slap Me Silly” site instead of doing housework, I would post this there. But I cleaned instead, so now I will post this here to share… I hate housework. That´s why I love to hire the long island carpet cleaner, they always do an amazing job and leave my carpets looking brand new. You can also check out Deserved Comfort for more information about home cleaning services.

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh. The tips is, if you want to make your carpets clean and almost looking brand new, you can check carpet cleaning Oahu.

2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust tortoises when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch The Galapagos Islands and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability.

6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged


7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”

8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.”

9. Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident…I haven’t had the heart to clean it.”

10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…I think I’ll just take a break and check my e-mail!”

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

13 replies on “House Cleaning Tips”

your avasive house tactics are funny but not very useful. I like a clean home but it is time consuming. I will keep your ideas in the background Haha

I’m agreaing with Bette there. Not the kind of hits i was looking for. I know the lazy way out of it, but it’s nice to have a clean home without the aching back pains. I did find a book for those who are interested in cleaning tips, haven’t tried them yet, because the book stay sold out so that should be saying something right? Well try your best to get your hands on Haley’s Hint’s by Gram Haley, i heard he is the best advice around. Barns and Nobels has it for around $20 if they can keep it in stock that is.

This was a much needed laugh! After searching the Web for real organizing & clean-it-up quick tips, I was getting more depressed by the minute until I found this. I’ve added it to my favorites for a pick-me-up in the future!

As I cleanmy house, I think of this humor and it’s amazing how quickly time passes:) Now if I could just get my husband to appreciate my work in the Galapogos I’d be doing much better!;) thanks!

I have read that you have amazing way for cleaning around the house how can I purchase your book. I would be please if you could tell how to buy your wonderful book thank you


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