Is That Why It’s So Quiet?

Sue’s post about not commenting in Chris Pirillo’s blog got me thinking. Especially when I read Gretchen’s (uh, Mrs. Pirillo) comments. She wrote, “There are some blogs where I just am kind of “afraid” to post… mostly on the ones that seem to already have a really tight-knit comments posse and I think “How would they take to a ‘new’ person/outsider posting? Are they going to think I’m weeeeird?”

Is that it? Is that why so few people leave comments here? I see you passing through. I’ve even had e-mail from some of you … but no comments. I love comments! I never consider them silly! I get giddy when I see them in my e-mail. Seriously. Excited. Last Saturday I was bummed because I finally had time to post and no one left any comments. Is it my own fault? Is it because I don’t leave comments enough? I try to, I really do. It’s been pretty busy in my life though the past 2 months. I know I haven’t been able to read all the blogs I would like to read – but I try. Hmmm…

Well, here’s your chance. You tell me … why don’t you leave comments? Come on. Say it. Let it out. That’s what it’s all about anyways…

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.

38 replies on “Is That Why It’s So Quiet?”

I have left a few comments but I will tell you that in the beginning and it’s not just yours it is a few other ones too that I never felt like I was a part of the “inner circle” and it would be like “who’s this blah blah showing up here” but I love ya babe or else I wouldn’t let you host my home hee hee so If you don’t like me tell me now LOL 🙂 There are a few blogs I read one in particular and I know she doesn’t like me and I still read hers and I have even linked to her although I am reconsidering that one lately but I must be a sucker for rejection cause I still keep lurking on her site 😉

OMG! See Chey? That’s the irony! I’m *SO* not an “insider” person. I was the kid in school that was friends with everyone, in every group. I had band friends. I had cheerleader friends. I had geek friends. (I love geeks.) I had cool friends. I didn’t care about what circle they were part of – I just wanted to know them for who they were!

Meanwhile, I *adore* you, and have since the day we first “met”! (in the virtual sense…) So you are as “inner circle” as they come, baby!

shyness, it is as Gretchen said, sometimes you wonder if you are going to be considered odd, or strange. Though Christine, I am not going to say that about this site.

[i hate doing this, so am appologizing in advance, responded to your question on our site via email, as I email server is wonky, I am hoping that you got it. ]

*diving in* OK…I get so nervous commenting where I never have before. Sometimes I have made comments here and there on someone’s site, and while I realize that comments are not a conversation, sometimes I feel completely ignored and on the outside. OK, now you DO think I am weird 😛
But anyways, I have loved your blog for a while, and I read it when I can, so ummmm….hi! +)
And…I would LOVE to know how the heck you got your comments to match in php…and with different graphics too!?! That is awesome! I am working hard on skinning my site now, and I have it all working, just waiting to haver time to add the code to all of my pages, and I was wondering how to get things in the comments to at least somewhat match….

Hi! 🙂 Well, you hear from me all the time. LOL! I think I don’t leave comments because I worry that what I’ll say doesn’t really add anything to the “thought” of the moment… or… I just don’t have anything to add at all… and a simple “hi! I was here! :)” seems kinda silly… so…

guess what I’m trying to say is…

Hi! I was here! 🙂

Ok for me its the same as Chey… Which shouldn’t be a shock to her but regardless…There are times that I so want to leave comments not even just on your but others too, but feel that I’m not part of it all and don’t and hold back…There are times too that I’m affraid that I will say something as stupid as can get and I can’t bear that..There are times that it feels that you aren’t in the “circle” you don’t post..

Noooooooooooooo!!! ::runs in terror::

I’m horrible about leaving comments on other people’s sites. Because I start going off into long stories and I think, “Hey, I have a blog, I could just post about it there.”

And then I do. And I forget about the comment.

Some people are pretty snotty about who comments on their site though (why, I wonder?) and I’m sure they ruin it for the lot of us.

Of course it seems bloggers are mostly shy types who like to keep to themselves and are a bit low on the self-esteem portions and none of those are good qualities to make a first step by commenting on someone else’s blog (who they think is cool)

Or whatever. Tired I am. Sleep, I must.

Heck yeah, I comment! I’ve never been afraid of being the odd woman out, of seeming weird or even not being wanted. I just don’t CARE, you see!! 🙂 I say what I say, I am who I am, take me or leave me. Life’s much too short to hold back…

I cannot tell a lie…oh wait, I comment here. What in the hell am I talking about? 🙂 I love it when the quiet ones speak up in mine. Sometimes the shy kids have the best stuff to say…

Christine, I read your blog all the time, but I guess I’m one of the shy ones. I may have commented one time here a while back but that’s all. Sorry about that, girl! I will be a better reader and comment more. I’m like you…I love comments!

I feel so goofy. When I submitted my comment I saw that my info that was save here was my old URL. I’ve changed domain names and hosts since the one and only time I commented here. LOL, sorry!

Some people just aren’t commenters, and some people are hopeless commenters (Hi, I’m Ciscley, and I’m a hopeless commenter. Before Blogs it was guestbooks.)

But I think the majority of people just don’t like to be the first commenter on a post. I’ve noticed it’s a feast or famine comment situation around most blogs. I actually usually prefer the dialogue in the leaner comments. It seems when a site’s comment section gets really popular, people use it more to advertise than to actually interact with the blog owner.

The cat’s got my tongue. 🙂 Actually, it’s a combination of what others have mentioned. I worry about feeling like a dork, don’t want ot intrude on a “private” community, just general shyness…and sometimes, just a lack of anything worthwhile to say. I’m pretty brain dead after a day at work which is generally when I get around to reading blogs 🙂

I admit it…when I first started blogging, almost six months ago, I was a bit leery about commenting on certain sites…yours included…I was like, ‘why would these people want anything to do with the likes of me?’

But now that I’ve been around for a while, I feel more confident about commenting…and a lot of that is thanks to Robyn, who I knew in pre-blogging days from her Destination Weddings & Eloping Forum, back before I got married in 2000. She was probably the first person to link to my blog, and the rest is history! 🙂

Anyway, many of my now-favorite blogs were discovered by reading comments in other blogs…so it does pay to leave comments! I wish people would not be so afraid to speak up!

I love comments, too! 🙂

Christine, I rarely leave comments anywhere because I don’t know exactly what to say. I keep to myself in the blogging / online community anyway – I only keep in regular contact with about 3 or 4 people online because I’m so lousy at being a friend. I read your blog a lot but I guess I’m just too shy.

WOW!!! See? Look at all of these COOL blogs I haven’t seen before! Look at all of the new faces! YEAH!!! 🙂

I’m a lot like Tess in some ways – love me or don’t. I’m just me. Meanwhile, I understand the “shyness” issue too, but I guess the anonymous factor makes me feel better about leaving comments behind. You can’t see me, therefore you can’t laugh at me!

I was talking with someone on IM once and he told me “wow! you’re so nice for being one of the big-name bloggers.” It totally cracked me up. There is a whole huge post that is just waiting to be written about my thoughts on this – especially after meeting “A-list” people at SXSW. But not tonight. I’m too tired!

LEAVE COMMENTS! I will love you even more! Even if you want to be like Jennifer & just say “Hi!” (And Jennifer, we have spent a bit too much time on IM together for me to buy that you don’t have anything to say! Teehee!)

I don’t comment often because:
a) I’m new at blogging (began in January).
b) Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.
c) I don’t want people to think I don’t know what I’m talking about. I am very self-conscious about what I say…I think before I speak (most of the time).
d) I’m shy. I’ve always been shy, but I’m trying to out grow that! I’m actually not as bad as what I used to be!

I promise I’ll comment more! Yes I WILL! 🙂

I don’t know why I was so scared (other than the blog-celebrity intimidation factor) to post on his b/c I post on other people’s all of the time! Hmmmmm… Let’s analyze this, shall we? 😉 But thanks for the public service announcement, I have decided to start making them periodically!

Here Julie says she never leaves comments and just last week I gave her a hard time in hers because she wants Tara & Wil (aka Team Skanky, the team with the ugly hats) to win TAR! I’m sorry Julie! 🙂 This week I’ll cheer for them, just for you!

Most of the time, I don’t have a thought in my head, or anything worth while to say. From now on, I’ll just comment with a “Hi!” and move on 😉

Hi, its me, and I’m so shy about commenting that I just can’t seem to do it. LOL! No, if anything, I worry that I comment too much. 🙂 But since I know that you (and my other I-comment-too-often hostesses) tend to squeal when you get comment emails, I don’t worry 😉

History lesson…. 😉 back in the olden days of blog, when nobody had comments, my archives are full of posts that are mainly a bunch of comments to other peoples posts. Pretty boring to look back at that! So I’m very grateful for comments because I can put my thoughts into a topic that isn’t even on my page. 🙂

And so I tend to comment more than I should, and everywhere. If I find someone new while surfing wander-lust, and they are talking about something I want to weigh in on, I do!! Now, I may not comment to every one of their posts like I might over here or Zal’s place or Robyn’s, but I’m not scared to comment!

See, look at this, I wrote a book! I do so hope that no one feels weird commenting on my site. If so, maybe I need to make it more homey. With pillows to cuddle up on while reading 😉

Ummm, I too tend to be one of the shy ones. I figure that it’s eaiser to just send an email directly if you don’t want to share with the group.

Sometimes I think if you want to post comments but you don’t have a blog of your own, people might think less of you.

Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for about 5 months now, I came here through Robyn’s blog after Dave Winer posted her link on the famous ‘Sweater Girl’ design, and have been reading both of you ever since. And like most of the posters before me, I am also pretty shy and easily made to feel awkward, but you have a very friendly way about you, so I am finally commenting here to introduce myself, hopefully one of these days I will have a blog up and will comment again to let you know!

check this out….for some reason when I would go through my reads by the time I got to yours my browser would lock up on me and show nothing. So I figured that your site was down. Then at night I’d go to it and you would have been gone by then.
Aside from that and no scrollbar in the comments window (another thing I thought was my problem) I’m still checkin’ you out, baby!!

I’m new to the whole blogging world – have only done my own blog for about two weeks now. But I’ve been fascinated by all the blogs I’ve discovered online (who knew the community was so vast and yet so homey).

I comment occasionally on the blogs I visit, but most of the time I just read and go on my way. I only comment if it truly is a post I really enjoyed or relates to me specifically somehow (much like this one!)

It’s because of a couple of reasons really. Mainly, I’m shy and very self-conscious. I’m afraid of sounding like a putz. The other is because of the inner-circle feel already established. I’m trying to get over it, really…but it’s easier said than done.

I can’t believe I haven’t hit your blog since this was posted! I’m really slackin’…

A big hear, hear, to everyone’s comments. Christine, it’s blogs like yours (and Robyn’s, and Cheyenne’s, Brian Korte’s, Promoguy’s, etc.) that feel homey and nice to comment in! Is that because I know you’re Gnomies? Perhaps.

My reasons for not commenting on some blogs is that [I feel—mind you, this is my impression!] the outsider mentality truly applies, and I feel that if I did post, it would be like some loudmouth junior high kid walking into a graduate-level university course—someone who really doesn’t have the same experience, and just can’t relate. Maybe I would WANT to contribute, and I might have something relevant to say on a certain topic, but would I have credibility there? Nah, not really.

Here’s me: Straight, married, white, one dog, no kids, college-educated, twenty-something, middle-class, happy with my appearance, not angst-ridden, doesn’t really care about techie stuff, does blogging for fun and community and not to deconstruct the blog or philosophize heavily about it.

Thusly, I don’t fit into the “categories” that a lot of blogs/bloggers do. Does that mean I wouldn’t be welcome posting on their blogs? Maybe not, but I think that for most people taking that step into unfamiliar territory is a scary one. I’ve had flame wars on my blog and have seen them happen on other peoples’ blogs, and it makes me miserable. We’re all somewhat xenophobic in our own way… and sometimes we feel that it’s just safer to not say anything at all!

You asked for comments, I’ll give you one.

I’m bad about commenting at most sites. Part of the reason is that I’m shy. I don’t know if I’ll “fit in” with that particular blog’s society. It feels really bad when you feel like you were “rejected” by an online society.

Or I just have nothing in common with the person I’m reading that I can’t post just a little bit to relate to that person. I’d like to post but what could I say that I wouldn’t come across as a person just pimping off their link?

Ok, glad to get why I have a hard time commenting off my chest!

heck, I comment anywhere I see fit. I would love more comments at my site, that is why I have put in the comment feature. I want to hear what strangers and friends think of the things I say… the life I live. When out and about reading other blogs I comment to anything I want to… and would love so dearly if the rest of the world would to.

It’s exactly like that — especially with being somewhat “new” to the blogosphere, I’m very hesitant sometimes to leave comments. You don’t want to stomp on people’s toes, or have them give you funny looks.

But I love comments. I crave comments. So I must learn to leave comments.

Like this one.

I like this site’s design. It’s swank. ^_^

I just wanted to add to what John said about being afraid to comment if you don’t have your own blog… I spout off with movie and music reviews, and I’ve never acted and can’t carry a tune to save my life. I just find my “voice” in other ways. 😉 So don’t ever be afraid to comment if you don’t have a blog yourself. If anything, by commenting you’ll get hooked (just look at Susan), and that will soon correct itself anyway! *waves to everyone*

darn it, now look at all these wonderful people who posted…. I’m gonna have to get a bigger sidebar because you all rock!!!! 😉 My desktop is just getting all cloggy with all of these new links!!! 🙂

Same as what most people have already said – shyness and worrying that the owner of the weblog won’t like me commenting! If I don’t know the person who’s weblog it is, I’m never sure whether to post or not. So often I go to comment, type it all out and then chicken out and delete it all. 🙂

Yours is the first blog I ever read – and have done so every day since. I never commented, until recently, and it was mainly for the same reason as others have stated – being the outsider. You see the same people on each others sites, and you are just afraid of not being accepted. Better to say nothing than to be rejected.

I just started blogging a couple of months ago. I started b/c my husband blogs, and he got so excited when I told him I’d like my own – just to see if I’d like it. Well I love it! And I get excited, like you, when someone comments on my site. The first time I got a comment from a person I didn’t know, I was jumping up and down – literally. So, I am beginning to come around and have stared to comment more often.

Christine, I have to say that your comments on Delirious Cool are some of my favorites, and clued me in that comments are really part of the entry. It seems like people appreciate comments back and forth about a post between author and readers, so I’m getting in the habit now of reading and responding instead of just paying the commenter a visit or sending an e-mail.

There are a lot of things I like about blogging, but one of my favorites may be that overcoming my own natural shyness (I prefer to call it Midwestern politeness) has a lot of benefits. It makes me realize that when I feel shy, it has a lot more to do with me than with someone else – no one’s ever made me feel unwelcome at their blog, even when I was hesitant about commenting the first time.

Whew! Blog on….

Mmmmm…. Christine, I love ya babe! You are the best gal on the web for the techie stuff. *grunt grunt* I’m all quiet because it’s sringtime and I’m spending time outside and also doing boring housework stuff.
I can’t see why anyone would be intimidated at leaving you comments. You’re so nice & friendly. 🙂

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