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Now Macromedia can play with

Now Macromedia can play with the big kids. This should be interesting to watch.

I had a horrible migraine yesterday. I thought I was going to get another one today – ugh. I hate it when I get migraines. Fortunately, I caught the one today just in time, took some Excedrin and snapped out of it. Big sigh of relief.

Now here’s a thought… you know how sometimes you feel like you are the only one that has feelings that you don’t belong, that you are really 20-something trapped in an older body? You know – like maybe you don’t fit in with a group of people, coworkers or a group of friends, you feel uncomfortable. For different people it is in different situations, and some people deal with it a lot better then others. Now, what’s the point to this rambling? I don’t know. I just realized it last night when I talked to Tom and then it hit me today again when Naomi & I were talking. You see, if you haven’t already guessed it, I am “quirky”. And I am proud of it. I was feeling very quirky today – probably the migraine haze. Then Naomi starts to tell me that I never knew about her – which I think make her a very fascinating person. Does she think she is fascinating? NO. She came back with the fact that she isn’t living up to the “American Dream” – no husband, no kids, no fantastic amazing career. (FYI – I think her design work is fantastic!) Ok, here we go (with slight edits to spare the innocent):

.:Me: You have learned a lot, experienced a lot, and just because you are not conforming to what our *freaky* screwed up society considers “normal” does NOT make you a “washup”.
.:Her: yeah but in a practical sense… nothing to show for the time i spent… no degree (despite being close after 4 years of
school), no kids, lots of debt, don’t own anything of value, no investments…
.:Her: it’s not that i don’t place value in what i’ve done, but most other people and society do not. I wouldn’t trade a lot of my experiences, but at the same time i feel weird trying to fit in with other people my age, esp. in a “professional” environment.
.:Me: Well, me too. I think THAT is actually normal.
.:Me: I got married and divorced by the time I was 23. I had a kid under strained circumstances. I am a young single mom. So I don’t fit in w/ the “happy married couples” and I don’t fit in w/ the single people. (note: I don’t have a degree either, other then my 2 year program at Texas A&M where I majored in Aggie tradition and minored in the Dixie Chicken! You don’t get a piece of paper to frame for that, although I have considered printing my own special one for that program)
.:Her: no wonder we get along so well 🙂
.:Me: And I suspect that a lot of those happy normal married people have issues too – they just hide it well.
.:Her: *nod* i suspect you’re right
.:Me: Heck, I hide it well.
.:Me: Tom & I talked last night about how we feel like we have to live up to society’s expectations, even if it isn’t what we want to do.

I am sure you get the point. Then I went on to *prove* how little I fit in. I am 31, planning on going out to a “pub” here in Houston in the hip and cool part of town. Ummm… I have no clue what to wear! How is that for sad? I feel so ancient some days. But on the other hand, why do I have to feel so old? Why on earth can’t I just be my age – which is rather young if you ask me. Well, I have been through a lot in the past 10 years, not to mention that for 7.5 of those years I dated someone 14 years older then me. So I guess it is justified in a way. But at the same time it really bugs the heck out of me. Later this weekend I will add pieces from my journal from my retreat the last weekend of January – pretty interesting what pure journaling will allow you to break through and see.

Speaking of Naomi, she always finds the most interesting websites. Everyone should order these for their car. Definately a touch of class! Ok, ok, they are incredibly tacky, and in all honesty all I can see is some redneck driving around with them on their big truck with the gun rack in the back window. (Not something that Naomi or I would ever put on our beautiful vehicles!)

By Christine

Christine is an Avenger of Sexiness. Her Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by rediscovering their Beauty. She lives in the Heights in Houston, Texas, works as a boudoir photographer, and writes about running a Business of Awesome. In her spare time, she loves to knit, especially when she travels. She & her husband Mike have a food blog at Spoon & Knife.