You know you workin’ in the hood if…

1. The vending machine sells Kool-Aid and sugar in Ziploc bags.
2. Plastic runners lead to every office.
3. Company cars have rag tops and rims.
4. The logo is in graffiti.
5. The hold music is Shaft.
6. You’re pulling six figures. They pay you in cash.
7. President wears leather suits and silk shirts.
8. Secretary wears one sponge roller.
9. Office hours? 10-4. Wednesday to Friday. Maybe.
10. Corporate account at Motel 6.
11. Somebody got shanked in a meeting.
12. Company ID photo is taken in wicker chairs.
13. Waiting room magazines are Right On and a 1969 Jet, with the Beauty of the Week ripped out.
14. When your work voice mail plays “Computer Love”.
15. Dental coverage reimburses for gold fronts.
16. Payroll clerk carries petty cash in her bra.
17. Plastic cover on lobby furniture.
18. Boss has pimp cane.
19. Stationary got another company’s name scratched off.
20. Instead of “Johnson & Associates” it’s “Johnson & ‘nem”.
21. Incense in the bathroom.
22. They let you off early when the new Jordans are released.
23. Your co-workers barbecue on the fire escape.
24. Your VP has gotta be home by 2 pm, because he’s on house arrest.
25. Sexual harassment policy contains the words “poontang” and “ill nana”.