I love you, but it just isn’t working out. It is not you, it is me. You give me these morsels of juicy goodness, that feed my FOMO. It is bad for me, and it has got to stop.
FOMO? What is FOMO, you ask? Ironic, I discovered FOMO on Facebook. It is Fear of Missing Out.
I suffer from it. I want to read everything you have to say. Every last bit of it. Which is toxic for me.
I need to take a break. I really hope we can still be friends. I mean, I’ll be checking in from time to time and all that. But I have to break this cycle of FOMO.
Without you, I got so much housework done yesterday. Grocery shopping. I watched a movie. I knit. I worked on Spoon & Knife. The world moved on by on Facebook, and I was blissfully unaware. It was a little incredible. I was still there for you a little bit – friends messaged me about things I had to reply to, and I maybe ranted on my Facebook Wall once late at night. (I was too weak to resist the booty call of Facebook. I’ll admit it.)
Overall, I felt good yesterday. Better than I have in awhile. Liberated.
I know you would want that for me, Facebook. You’re good to me like that. So I’ll see you around, but for now – we’re on a break. It just is not working out.
I don’t know what it is today. Maybe it is just the crash after the craziness of the past 3 weeks. Imaging USA, Asheville, flying, catching up on work, Dad 2.0 Summit, Mike heading to Calgary, me doing 6 sessions in 7 days when I normally cap them at 3 a week.
Yesterday was my first day to just stand still. To breathe. I took the morning off, mandated that there would be no work at all for 4 hours. Because that is the problem with self-employment – the boss never tells you to go home. I can never turn it off.
Then it was off to a much needed massage therapy appointment – the only thing that saves my back, shoulder & hip (I am so grateful to Angie of We Heart Massage!) – and I was back to work again.
The cycle continues. But I want off.
I woke up this morning at 5am, even though my alarm was set for 8:15. A feeling of “blah” covered me. Just … Lost.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what I do. I have the most amazing “job” in the world. Hot Mama Photographer, Avenger of Sexiness? HELL YES!!! I have absolutely zero regrets about the time I spend “work working”.
It is the other hours that feel so blank. My actual photography business is not that time intensive; it is all of the other things I do to create “busy” in my life. Needless things. Things that are no longer bringing me joy.
So in the early hours of the morning, I started thinking of what I want to change. How that looks. What it means. What I am going to give up so that I can have room in my life for other things.
Then it hit me. FACEBOOK. Facebook is by far the biggest time suck of my day. I go in there for one thing, and I leave hours later it seems. (Figuratively, not always literally.) It has become a sensory overload point for me.
I also realized that with Ash Wednesday tomorrow, it is a good time to give up Facebook. Not all of Facebook because I actually do need to be on there for work, marketing, and my mentoring clients. By the way, what makes my marketing business easy is by the help of Sage Mauk Brooklyn SEO so if you’re interested, you may inquire to them. It is the other stuff. The time suck stuff. That has to go. It needs to be in and out. Do what I have to do and be gone. I’ve said for weeks now that I’m tired of giving my content to Facebook, so I have to go cold turkey to cut it off.
As I typed that declaration, a small break in the clouds appeared – literally. I’m taking that as a sign, there is more sunshine ahead in my future. I feel fractured right now, but I’m putting it back together — the way I want it to look.
Photo from last May, flying from London back to Houston. It is time to head home.
It has been a busy, busy week around here! Last week I was at the ImagingUSA conference put on by the PPA in Atlanta, and from there I went to visit the fabulous Regina Holder in Asheville, North Carolina. So wonderful! We went and toured the Biltmore House while I was there, doing the private Butler Tour and the main house tour. A visit to Tupelo Honey happened as well – delicious! We didn’t get to do touristy things on Friday thanks to an ice storm and road closures, but that was ok! After Imaging, it was nice having a quiet day!
I headed home Saturday with only a little drama. A quick jump back in to everyday life, and … Drumroll please …
You can read more about why over there, but let me just say that I have BIG plans. Not just for me, but for all of us! It is time for a change, and I can’t wait to help even more women rediscover their beauty!
I really, truly hope you will join me for this. The world needs more Avengers of Sexiness!
So this week could not have been timed more perfectly. I picked up C.C. Chapman at the airport yesterday, and lunch with him just added to the Avengers of Sexiness fire. (A gang sign may have even been invented!) After lunch and a tour of the Heights, we headed to downtown* for the start of the Dad 2.0 Summit.
Biggest lesson I’ve learned? Stop assuming it is all about the mom. And the culture needs to change, allowing flexibility for parents in the workplace. Stop looking so hard for where you are going, and stop to think about where you are.
We are just part way in to the first day, but it is so inspiring! Inspiring to where I see my future going. Even though I’m the Hot Mama, the dads have a lot to teach me!
The next Cooking with Mike post will be coming in the next few days – Vermillion Snapper that was delicious! So check back soon!
The future? It looks amazing..,
* My phone now autocorrects downtown to Downton. I am highly amused!
Almost five years ago, I launched my boudoir photography business. At the time, it was meant to compliment my wedding photography work, but it quickly became so much more than that to me! I initially defined what I believed in, sharing my story of how boudoir photography changed my life.
It was then that I learned something amazing. My Superpower is helping Hot Mamas grow their Confidence by Rediscovering their Beauty.
And to be honest? I don’t have to have a camera in my hand to do this. When I realized that, I then started to dream about ways that even more women could rediscover their beauty and grow their confidence and maintain this beauty by using the right products, and you can click here to find more about this. This is the start of that.
Last fall, I worked with Ms. S, and she wrote me afterwards with this review:
These days I feel that as women we are subjected to so much scrutiny, no matter what size, shape or color that we are, we never seem to be perfect.
But what exactly is perfect? I may not be a size two, but even a women that is a size two is being judged by some imperfection….
There is not a women out there that on a daily basis is not second guessing her self image. It is ridiculous.
There needs to be more AVENGERS of SEXINESS in the world, allowing other women to take back their self worth and sexiness and tell society to go to HELL. “I am SEXY and I KNOW IT”…. Thank YOU Christine for being my AVENGER of SEXINESS!
I am so glad that I found you!!!!
I couldn’t agree with her more. There needs to be more AVENGERS of SEXINESS in the world — and the revolution? It starts NOW. Will you join me? Together we can make the difference. I’ll be sharing more details in the coming weeks on all of the ideas I have for this, and I can’t wait!
Avengers of Sexiness defend the right to be beautiful outside of the parameters of the media and society.
Earlier this year, at the 10th anniversary of my first SXSWi, we were reminiscing about Brad Graham, as we so often too. Taken from us too soon, we all miss Brad. As we talked about those early SXSWi events, like old-timers do, we talked about the late nights in the Omni hotel. Kevin Smokler brought up Aaron Swartz. We laughed about the night that he showed up at the Omni in 2003. He was only 15 — and they wouldn’t let him check in to his room.
As he waited for someone to come over and help him get the situation sorted out, he joined our group that evening. MJ went upstairs to get drinks, and had him help her carry them down, only to her amusement when she learned how old he was.
It was Matt Mullenweg’s first SXSWi too. Matt was 19, and WordPress was just about to be released. Aaron co-authored the specification for RSS 1.0 at age 14. Between Aaron & Matt, I knew these two were going to change the world. It was a bit humbling to be there, so much older, and to get a sense of their brilliance.
I recall Aaron talking about Creative Commons that year, speaking on a panel when it was first introduced. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t a bit awestruck. He was just incredible to listen to, a true genius.
The photo here is one that I took, at the last house party at Bruce Sterling’s house in Austin, a now gone SXSWi tradition. (The gnomes had many adventures that year as well.)
So that night at SXSWi last year, we laughed as we talked about Brad & Aaron … ah, the memories of the years past. I missed a few SXSWi in there, and I hadn’t seen Aaron in years. His blog is still on my blogroll, but half the time when I would go to read it, it was all well over my head. We did correspond about copyright once more when I got in to a debate with Dave Winer about it and RSS feeds. It seems like so long ago.
I haven’t thought much about Aaron since that day last spring. I didn’t come home afterwards and look up what he had been doing since then – which turns out to be a rather impressive list of things.
So this morning when Mike told me that Aaron Swartz was dead, that he committed suicide last night, I had to stop at first and ask, “Who?” I couldn’t think of an actor, a singer, anyone famous with that name. And then I realized. The pieces came together. It has been on my mind all day. Life is so fragile, and it is crushing when someone with so much to offer takes their own.
I’m glad that our paths crossed years ago. Aaron was a true genius, and while I’ve been so lucky to meet a few of those over the years, I think he will always stand out as someone special. To be so brilliant back at 15. I am sad to see him gone at 26.
Mike discovered the news this morning via Boing Boing, and I love how Cory Doctorow described him in his post, “In so many ways, he was an adult, even then, with a kind of intense, fast intellect that really made me feel like he was part and parcel of the Internet society, like he belonged in the place where your thoughts are what matter, and not who you are or how old you are.”
This year at SXSWi, there will be talks again about Brad – the hole he left behind is huge – but I’m sure the conversation will turn to Aaron again too. He touched us. It is heartbreaking to hear that he chose this way to go. Depression is a horrible, horrible monster, like other diseases and affections as the seasonal affective disorder, that is only treated with the best Light Therapy Lamps in the market you can find at SadLampsUSA.com.
Aaron, the internet is forever changed thanks to you, in more ways than most people know. From your role in Creative Commons to defeating SOPA to so much more … thank you. The internet is a more open and a better place because of fights that you fought.
On Boing Boing today is also where I discovered this video about Aaron’s role in the defeat of SOPA. I had no idea before today — I wish I had known. I have to share this so you can have a sense of how amazing he was.
As he waited for someone to come over and help him get the situation sorted out, he joined our group that evening. MJ went upstairs to get drinks, and had him help her carry them down, only to her amusement when she learned how old he was.