Category: Blogger Posts

Naomi, as usual, cracks me up. She had to leave early today because her dog was sick & she had to take him to an emergency vet appointment. So she is already at home (I am still at the office), and she IM’s me…

Naomi: i just had a satanic pizza delivery, i think
Me: what? LOL
Naomi: well, the delivery guy was wearing all these pentacles… and the RED pizza hut shirt and very tall.
Me: how bizarre.
Naomi: so like, his chest was at eye level. hehe.
Me: did you take his picture? You should have asked him to pose!
Naomi: ack no! i should have asked! LOL

I just had to share. She is so funny. As always she brightens my days…

On another great note, Chelsey told me yesterday that she is moving closer to me. She lives in Pearland now, on the edge of Friendswood. She tells me she that she is going to move to the Woodlands. That means she is 10 minutes closer, she can just say she lives on the North side of town like me! So I told her that that is nowhere “close” to me, it’s a 45 minute drive! And it would take her forever to get to work in downtown! So today (yeah!) she called me to tell me that not only is she looking at a different place tomorrow, it is actually the one right across the street from me! I am sooooo excited! She was complaining about the amenities she will have to give up, but so what? I will be right across the street! She said “well, they have a movie room with the stadium seating” – SO? We could finally go to a regular movie any time we wanted to! I have a DVD player, we can always rent movies! I am so excited, I hope she goes for it and gets that place. It would be so great to live by her finally, since I don’t work in downtown anymore and we don’t get to see each other very often. I can hardly wait!

What a crazy week. Jason’s birthday was Saturday, we went to Mountasia to play miniature golf, ride the Bumper Boats and go-karts, and play the video games. He had a blast. Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut for dinner, and then to my parent’s house to eat cake and open presents. It was a really fun day. I wish I had taken a camera to Mountasia with us.

Naomi’s birthday was also Saturday – Happy Birthday Naomi!!!

Other than that, a lot to say and no words to say it. How is that for frustrating? Things are not going to work out, at least not now, with the “New Guy”. (His choice, not mine) Oh well, life will go on. Part of me is in the mode again of wanting to get back together with the IO, but there is still part of me that is holding back. He called me yesterday afternoon “just because” – something he hasn’t done in quite awhile. But he also ended up telling me things last night that confirm what I thought before – he is still angry with me for what happened back in December and January – still hurt – and that will stand in our way. Not to mention the issues that I have. Only time will tell…

WOW! You know, I am one of those people that think a razor is just a razor. I don’t normally change brands, I liked the Gillette Sensor that I have used for years. After reading others rave reviews of the Venus (Mach 3) for women I decided to pick one up while going through Wal-Mart yesterday. OH MY GOODNESS! They should just pull all other razors off the market. It is amazing. I don’t think I will ever use any other razor again. I have never had such a smooth shave, and the truly pivoting head, which looks bizarre at first, is the best invention. Curves, bends – the Venus handled all of them without a knick. Everyone should be using these!

There is an add at the top of my AIM window right now. “Tivo. The greatest TV innovation since color.” I know that’s right. Tivo ROCKS. Guess what mine will record tonight? Making the Band!!! I was so excited when I watched the season premiere last weekend (on Saturday since the Tivo recorded it Friday night for me.) I don’t like the dreadlocks look on Jacob at all – I liked his hair before. It is fun watching these guys grow together as a band, but I understand their frustration as far as the pressure, like everyone expects them to fail. I am cheering them on. I think they are great!

I can predict what the IO will do soooooo well. I have been basically blowing him off, I realized I will never move on (which is what he said he wants – we “can’t work things out”) if I keep hanging on to him. Even though the last few times I have seen him have been more for fun – I did not do it as a means to change his mind – I have still seen him. So I have backed away. I stopped calling, and I talk to him only if he initiates the contact, which isn’t often. So, what does he do? He asks me today if I want to get together tonight. (Up until now, every time I have seen him has been my suggestion.) So predictable.

Here is where I frustrate myself though. You see, I have a tentative date tonight. Only tentative because he is working on an intensive project at work and not sure what time he will get off of work – but I have already made arrangements for a sitter, etc. Do I tell the IO “no, I have another date?” NO. I just tell him “oh, I don’t know … not sure if I can…” What is up with THAT??? Ugh! I could kick myself. The opportunity was right there. I know why I did it though. I don’t want to burn the bridge yet. I have walked over it to walk away, but I want the safety of knowing it is behind me in case I want to go back. And I don’t want to rock the boat with the IO. Which is stupid for two reasons: (1) because he is dating chicky-poo and (2) that was the problem for that past 8 years. I always tried to play nice. Tried to make sure I didn’t rock the boat. *sigh* Why do we do this?

I want things to go well with the “new guy” (should I just call him the NG now? LOL) because he seems to be a really nice, warm, loving, caring person. Who, like me, was in a relationship that was a struggle, where he wasn’t appreciated, where he would do nice things for the other person (his ex-wife) and get shut down for being nice. I know how he feels. I think that is why we are both so sensitive and appreciative of the small gestures – it is so often the little things that make all the difference in the world. Even if it doesn’t turn into anything more than what it is right now, it has made me see (AGAIN) all the things that are wrong with the relationship with the IO and all the things I want in my future.

Super J (who rocks!) pointed out last night that I have to be sure to date only people who can care about both me & Jason. The IO always had issues with doing “Jason Things” with me. Cub Scouts, plays, camping trips, whatever. He wasn’t there, and I can’t have that in my life – Jason matters more to me than any man. The ever wise Naomi pointed out “let it go, it doesn’t even matter what he thinks right? YOU are the one who is important here.”

I just have to be strong and burn the security blanket. Because when I think about it, there is *no* security there.