Categories
Geek Love

You Heard It Here… Well, Second.

As Emily announced earlier today, Blogomania (aka – me) is sponsoring her “Win a Free Blog For a Year!” contest. You can go here for all the details. Submissions for the contest go to her, not to me.

It’s a writing contest, so show her what you’ve got! You know you have always wanted a Blogomania blog!

Here’s the full scoop:

You get: domain registration for one year (at the domain of her choice), domain hosting from Blogomania for one year (a $100 value) and a MediumMoxie design package from BlogMoxie (valued at $189). She wants to make sure the that the blogging world is enhanced by this contribution, so she is (we are?) looking for the best writer. Here are the rules:

1. Submit 3 writing samples. One entry can be on any topic of your choosing. The other two must be selected from the following list: most embarrassing moment, first day of school (any grade/college), a how-to (i.e. build a bookcase, tie a corset, piss off your neighbor, give the perfect blowjob, etc.), or a movie review.
2. There is no minimum or maximum entry length.
3. I will not judge this contest. Judges will be selected randomly and given anonymous entries. If you’d like to be a judge, please email Emily. You may not enter the contest and be a judge.
4. You will have until May 18th to submit your entries to her email address. Please provide a valid email address with your submission.
5. Winner will be announced May 28th.

Update: There are now runner-up prizes generously donated by Mice (a $20 amazon.com gift certificate) and Casey (a $15 Amazon.com gift certificate)!

Categories
Amuse Me

In Case You Missed It…

The buy my ex-wife’s wedding dress auction amused me so much that I had to check out the page one last time before heading to bed. The auction has ended, with the final bidder getting the dress for $3,850.00.

I loved his final update on the dress. Ebay let him access the post again to comment on it one final time. In case you didn’t get to see it, I copied it here. (The rest of it is below.)

Because of the high profile of this item, I am changing the listing to Pre-Approved Bidders Only. To be pre-approved, please contact me at horseplaypublishing@hotmail.com and include “Serious Bidder” in the subject line of the email and I will return your email to pre-approve your bidding on the auction. Thank you for your interest.

Woooooooohoooooo! What a wild ride! The emails are coming faster than the hits. And now personal appearances. First Star94 radio in Atlanta, then King5 in Seattle,now the Today Show with that I-used-to-be-a-fat-weatherman-but-now-I-am-as-skinny-as-Regis-but-twice-as-funny Al “I will turn this car around” Roker. It is amazing; all this media hype. Hey, Al! Any relation to Roxy?

EBay has graciously allowed me to update this page once more. So I will keep it brief.

This one guy emailed me and said, “Hey, bud. What part of Texas do you live?”
Uh… Well, sir, I am from Seattle. Uh, Seattle, Texas. Right next to AreYouAFreakingMoron, Texas, which is a hop, skip and jump from IWasEducatedByGeorgeBush, Texas. Thanks for asking, neighbor.

We have a website coming that everyone can check out. It will be up soon.

Please only bid if you are serious. Or really, really hot.

Categories
BlahBlahBabble

The Great Car Mystery…

The new house is off of Spring Cypress in northwest Houston. Houston is a strange city with no deed restrictions, so instead we live in subdivisions which have deed restrictions. Inbetween the subdivisions, especially on this side of town, you never know what you will find. There is still a farm across the street from my high school, but HP (Compaq) is right down the road with a huge sprawling campus. On Spring Cypress, it’s still pretty undeveloped. They are building now, but there are still individual houses lining the road too.

When we first moved here, I noticed a lot with a chain link fence around it and a mobile home parked inside. After a day or two, I noticed that there was someone in the car – it looked like he was smoking. As time went by, I would look at the car every time we drove past. Would there be someone inside? What would they be doing? Why are they outside instead of in the house? Do they get kicked out when they go to smoke?

It became a game for us. Every time I drove past, I had to look to see if there was someone in the car and I would imagine what they were doing out there. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, a car was always there. It was my job to be spy detective and figure out what was going on.

Until the day that Mike burst my bubble over the whole thing.

I was giving him my report on what I had seen in the mystery car over the past day or two. I had to fill him in because I wanted to know what he had seen. I had to piece this puzzle together, so enlisting him as my spy partner seemed to be only logical.

That was when he told me. He knew the answer. There was no mystery at all.

The person in the car was a security guard. He had seen him get out of the car one day to check the grounds. That’s why some days he was there, but other days I didn’t see him.

It was so simple, but I was disappointed. My game was gone. I looked forward to driving past there to see what was going on, and after hearing the news, I had nothing.

After awhile, there wasn’t a car there any more. I guess they didn’t need a guard for awhile. This morning, I noticed a small SUV with “Securitas” written on it. If that had been there all along, my game would have never even started. It may sound strange, but I still miss my guessing game, trying to figure out why the man was sitting in the car.

If you are unsatisfied with your current body corporate managers you should seriously consider changing so you are obtaining the highest level of body corporate services. Now that I think about it, there is a small building on the property. I wonder what they have inside of there? Hmmm…

Categories
BlahBlahBabble

Time Is What I Need…

Whew. I needed a good laugh, and the bride man in my post below definitely gave it to me. Mad props to Chelsey (my maid of honor) for e-mailing me about it, and then calling me to force me to read the e-mail.

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind where you don’t think it could possibly get any worse – and then it does? Yeah, one of those. It was like news about different things kept piling on me, until I hit information overload. I can’t take any more news for today. No decisions either. I have another round of wedding invitations to prepare (I just got the addresses) and mail out in the morning. I have two web sites to finish. I’m up to my eyeballs in stuff to do – all of which seems to require immediate attention.

Tomorrow morning I have a hair appointment. I want to get it cut a month before the wedding so if it is bad there is time to fix it. I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but I am actually a paranoid control freak – I just hide it well some days. Then we have an appointment at 6:30 tomorrow to have all of the dresses altered. That is if I still have bridesmaids – I was a bit snappy earlier. I hope they will still have me. It was a bad day, but still…

It’s sort of ironic, being as busy as I am right now. I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I went to see “13 Going on 30” this weekend, and it was a good reminder to be careful what you wish for. It was an absolutely adorable girly movie with a soundtrack that rocks. I think everyone should see it. I might just go and see it again myself. Even though it made me cry. Twice. Stop laughing at me…

Ok, I did have one issue with the movie. Jenna turns 13 on May 26, 1987. On her birthday, she is watching a Rick Springfield video, the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video, and is otherwise dressed for 1984. But they said it was 1987. I’m sorry, but those songs are like soooooooo 1984. Great songs, but not the hits of 1987. It’s the little things that you notice some days. The music and the blue eyeshadow. *shiver*

So anyways, I am alive and well. Way too busy. And obviously, I need to remember to laugh every once in awhile.

Categories
Amuse Me

If I Didn’t Have a Dress Already…

I found my ex-wife’s wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, “That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it.” So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill.

Anyone need his ex-wife’s size 12 wedding dress with no reserve?

By the way, he’s not ugly just because he has a huge white blotch on his face. The headdress and veil are included. The doo rag is not.

(The most amusing part? The bidding on the dress started at $1. It’s over $1400 now. The fact that he’s freakin’ hysterical in the Ebay ad probably helps!)

(In case Ebay pulls it, you can read the full ad below. I’ll add the photos tomorrow.)