Category: Amuse Me

The buy my ex-wife’s wedding dress auction amused me so much that I had to check out the page one last time before heading to bed. The auction has ended, with the final bidder getting the dress for $3,850.00.

I loved his final update on the dress. Ebay let him access the post again to comment on it one final time. In case you didn’t get to see it, I copied it here. (The rest of it is below.)

Because of the high profile of this item, I am changing the listing to Pre-Approved Bidders Only. To be pre-approved, please contact me at horseplaypublishing@hotmail.com and include “Serious Bidder” in the subject line of the email and I will return your email to pre-approve your bidding on the auction. Thank you for your interest.

Woooooooohoooooo! What a wild ride! The emails are coming faster than the hits. And now personal appearances. First Star94 radio in Atlanta, then King5 in Seattle,now the Today Show with that I-used-to-be-a-fat-weatherman-but-now-I-am-as-skinny-as-Regis-but-twice-as-funny Al “I will turn this car around” Roker. It is amazing; all this media hype. Hey, Al! Any relation to Roxy?

EBay has graciously allowed me to update this page once more. So I will keep it brief.

This one guy emailed me and said, “Hey, bud. What part of Texas do you live?”
Uh… Well, sir, I am from Seattle. Uh, Seattle, Texas. Right next to AreYouAFreakingMoron, Texas, which is a hop, skip and jump from IWasEducatedByGeorgeBush, Texas. Thanks for asking, neighbor.

We have a website coming that everyone can check out. It will be up soon.

Please only bid if you are serious. Or really, really hot.

I found my ex-wife’s wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, “That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it.” So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill.

Anyone need his ex-wife’s size 12 wedding dress with no reserve?

By the way, he’s not ugly just because he has a huge white blotch on his face. The headdress and veil are included. The doo rag is not.

(The most amusing part? The bidding on the dress started at $1. It’s over $1400 now. The fact that he’s freakin’ hysterical in the Ebay ad probably helps!)

(In case Ebay pulls it, you can read the full ad below. I’ll add the photos tomorrow.)

Playing “I Never” on the trampoline in Natalie’s backyard with a margarita? Not a smart idea. A lot of fun, and very amusing. But damn. Not smart. At least I wasn’t drinking alone.

So, what would you have to drink to if you were playing “I Never”? Or should I even ask?

In honor of Easter weekend, I Feel the Power!

(Yeah, I’m going to be smited by God for laughing at that, but really – how can you resist it?)

[Via Hanna]

Easter is here, and I giggle every time I see the Peeps for sale at the store. Some people do more than laugh though. Some people are inspired to work with the Peeps, to make them be something greater, to show them their true destiny … The Lord of the Peeps!

If I had more time, I would design a skin devoted to the Hobbit Peeps. Peeps rule! (Just don’t eat them – they taste nasty!) [via Geek Love]