First, you need to read this article, “It’s Never Too Late to Be a Virgin” (NY Times, get a free subscription) to appreciate the full scope of what I’m about to say. But my rant will probably clue you in if you don’t read it, so let me begin…
:: Sex makes babies. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If you’re not married, don’t know the guy or girl well enough to say that you even love them, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. I know, I know … it’s fun and all that, but do you want to have a kiddo with the person? Ok. Then don’t have sex. (And if you have sex and get pregnant, please respect life enough to not throw your baby in the trash. Please.)
:: If you ignore what I just said and have sex, suddenly abstaining from it 3 months before your wedding day does NOT make you a virgin again. No. It might make you a bit horny, but you’re not a virgin. Definitely not if you are living with the guy. When I read Ms. Ratliff’s comment of how she is doing it to “help clear her conscience about having strayed from the expectations that her church and family hold about premarital sex” I considered hunting her down so I could bitch-slap her in person.
:: Add to that her direct quote, “The closer you get to the wedding, and you’re looking for a preacher and a church, you start to feel guilty,” she said of no longer being a virgin.” NO SHIT. This is why they beat it in to our heads from an early age that you should WAIT until you are married.
:: Take your “second virginity” crap and smoke it. It’s not happening. You’re living with the guy. You’re sleeping with him, although I am reassured and I think you are so much more pure because you won’t sleep naked now or take showers with him. What a joke.
:: Then there is Ms. Burgess who says, “The holding out makes you feel like you’ve been a good girl.” Oh, so in other words it makes it easier for you to justify all the years of naughty behavior? Yeah, ok. Whatever. See above comment on load of crap.
:: “The horse is already out of the gate. You’re either a virgin, or you’re not.” Yeah! Exactly! That was what I was trying to say!
I could go on and on and on about this article, but I’ll spare you. I am not trying to be a hypocrite here. I will not lie – I was not a virgin when I got married. I had moments when I regretted that too – not so much then as now. And if you want to live with someone, have sex, whatever – that’s YOUR call. Whatever, your choices that you have to live with. But please don’t feed me this fluffy bullshit about how if you abstain for 3 months then you’ve had a second virginity. Please. I’m too old to be buying in to that crap. (Have I used the word crap enough in this post yet?) So, what do you think? Can you ever be a virgin… again? [via Donna]